Fatty McGoo: Baby Weight Be Gone

Death machines, skinny models and teddy bears.

2010-09-12T17:56:00.000-07:00

Not much to update you on except I haven't lost weight, I haven't gained weight, and my foot really hurts. I fell off the wagon for a week because I got sick and all I wanted was comfort food, and apparently that means really creamy pasta sauces to me. Then when I finally did get back on track, I lost my sense of enthusiasm for the gym and breaking a sweat because I couldn't use the treadmill anymore. I haven't gotten my groove back nor have I really seen any improvement from dieting, so I'm just kinda blah.

Not that I want to be a downer, oh heck no. Let me tell you a few things.

The first day back to the gym, I used this crazy contraption (see picture that follows) where you can do leg presses and arm presses and ride this machine like the bike it knows it wants to be. I picked this machine because it had large, flat foot pedals for my whacked out foot. Very similar to an elliptical foot pedal. It's not the most ideal machine to use because the arm press things are whizzing by my head as I pedal, and when I made the one attempt to try the arm press things, I soon realized I really didn't know what I was doing and felt I was better off just pedaling.

I didn't know what I was doing when I first set up the program, and I happened to pick level 5 to start with on the hill setting. Little did I know that meant the crazy deathtrap of a machine was going to fluctuate from level 5 (sweat-inducing) to level 9 (why don't you just cut open either end of my thighs and pull the muscle as taunt as you can?). I got through it though, even though I was NOT happy and DID NOT agree to such madness. It also didn't help that some old man got on the machine next to me and was all arms and legs and lalala with no heavy breathing.

Did I mention that an overweight gal on this machine is not attractive at all? Talk about an ego suppressant. I in no way resembled the smiling lady above. I don't believe in smiling so happily while being so miserable.

Since I didn't feel I deserved to use such a wonderfully diverse exercise machine, the next time I decided to use a regular recumbent bike. Of course even with that I had problems and the old man next to me had to tell me how to move the seat back and forth. I gave up and just used the one right next to him even though I like my sense of space when exercising.

Everything was going fine until my hurt foot started going numb. That can't be good, I thought. I got through it, barely felt my foot all the way home, and then was in a lot of pain -- similar to the pain I felt the last time I used the treadmill.

Oh great, I thought.

I didn't get it at all -- why would the recumbent bike hurt but not the death machine? Then I had one of those "ah-ha!" moments and realized it was the flat pedal with no strap versus the tiny pedal with strap that was killing my foot.

The next time I was back on the death machine (because, as I've mentioned, I hate the elliptical), and I only suffered a few minor beatings from the swinging arms. While I supposedly burned a lot of calories, I don't feel like I'm getting much out of the machine, and I'm very tempted to just get back on the treadmill and deal with a foot that feels broken.

So there's all that.

The other thing I've been thinking about is find a few nicer items to add to my very limited and frumpy wardrobe. There just aren't many options for a lady of my shape, and the few times I do find shirts I really love, then end up wrecked and I have to toss them. I decided to search for "designer plus size clothes" and a store called J.Jill came up. I don't know anything about this store- is it for plus size women? do they just happen to sell plus size and regular? I have no clue. I liked some of the looks on the models, but all the models happen to look like they are size 0 or 2.

Okay, I thought. Something must be wrong because why would a store sell plus size but not put the clothes on a fatty for other fatties to judge how the clothing would look? But alas, that's just what they did. Over and over, these ladies are skinny as all get out and all I could think was that the clothes would look like tents on a fat lady but on these skinny models, the clothes look clean and nice.

And now, tonight, I decided to search for "hairstyles for fat women" because I'm past my year mark from my last haircut and my hair has seriously gotten too long. I wanted to see what styles would look flattering on a fat lady with football shoulders and barely a chin. And what do I get as a result? Picture after picture of skinny, pretty actresses with long, layered hair. Hello? I have long, layered hair. Gah!

I did come across this gem, which I will keep in mind while trying to figure out what to do with myself:

(Editor's note: using misplaced commas can also make your writing out of proportion to your meaning, and bad drawings don't help the situation.)

And this lovely drawing and advice came from a man who describes himself as a 30-ish year-old writer, poet, artist, singer, activist, educator and all-aroung magician when it comes to bringing out the inner beauty of those around him as a licensed Cosmetologist and who is also an avid letter writter. The typos are not mine.

He also collects teddy bears.

Enough said.

Oh, the irony.

2010-08-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

Irony means, in my case, "an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected," per Dictionary.com (#5).

Here I am, all hyped up and ready to lose weight, conscious of everything I need to be doing, making good decisions, dragging my fat butt to the gym to walk on the treadmill. Slowly, very slowly, losing weight. But doing it.

And then I start having a little bit of foot pain.

Let me backtrack.

I had a bunion corrected last June, which means surgery and months and months of healing. I decided to do this right when I decided to start losing weight the first time - I joined a gym, was going three times a week, and was doing pretty good. But my foot was bugging me, so I thought, I'm going to get this taken care of. Needless to say, I stopped going to the gym, then we moved, I joined a gym here, but rarely went because my work life was extremely hectic and then it snowed a lot, and so forth and so on.

Even with the bunion corrected, I try to wear "sensible" shoes, but in May of this year, I decided to get my sexy on and wear my very insensible boots while in San Francisco for a work thing. After the work thing was over, I thought it would be a fabulous idea to walk around San Francisco in said insensible boots (although I did think about changing my shoes around 100 times) and try to find my son a great gift that screamed San Francisco. I went pretty far from my hotel, but soon realized my feet were done, especially the left foot, which felt on fire.

I hobbled back to the hotel, left the next day, and came home with a huge blister and what felt like a bruise on the bottom of my foot. (And, in case you were wondering, a toy cable car for my son that I bought at the airport because I never found anything that screamed San Francisco when my dogs were screaming at me.) Time passed, I started going to the gym more often and more regularly, I started staying longer and/or upping my speed, and low and behold, the same foot that felt bruised for a couple of weeks began hurting really bad, so bad, that I couldn't stand being bare foot on hard surfaces. Something was not right.

Today I walked on the treadmill for a good hour, and when I got home and took my shoes off, my foot was just not having it. Very unhappy foot. I decided I had enough and made a doctor appointment.

I spent $35 bucks for a 5-minute doctor appointment where I was told to A. stop walking so fast on the treadmill, B. never walk on a flat surface, and C. start using the elliptical.

Have I mentioned my hatred of the elliptical? Yes? Okay then. I looked at him, and I know my face was saying, "Um? The elliptical? yeah, that's so not happening, doc. Just remove the bone causing all the pain."

This is how the conversation went:

Doc: Do you walk on an incline?

Me: Well, I use the random setting, so it goes up and down.

Me thinking: Incline, baaaaaaad. Flat, gooooood!

Doc: How fast do you go?

Me: Average is 3.3 MPH. I never run, just walk.

Me thinking: See? I walk. Walking is so much better for you than running. I.do.not.run. I like my knees. I don't want any more problems, thank you very much. No running here.

Doc: Okay. You should use the elliptical more since that puts less strain on the bottom of your foot, wear inserts, and slowly stop using the treadmill. If you use the treadmill, always walk on an incline and go slow.

Me: ......

Doc: Take ibuprofen for the pain and ice your foot. And wear the inserts. Go buy some inserts.

Me: ......

Me thinking repeatedly: I hate the elliptical. The elliptical is evil. Die, elliptical, die. I'm so not using the elliptical.

Ah-ha! I thought. The recumbent bike! I can use the recumbent bike.

Me: So what about the recumbent bike?

Doc (with a slight look of perplexity on his face since he just told me 50 times to use the elliptical): Yes, yes, you can use that, but you can use the elliptical.

Then he said that if I do what he said and still have pain, I need to come back to get an x-ray done in case I broke something.

So back to the beginning: Oh, the irony. Here I am, trying to get all healthy and whatnot, and not only am I at a high risk of heart disease because I'm fat and have high cholesterol, but also I can't use the one machine in the gym I enjoy so because it allows me to read or listen to podcasts or watch podcasts with minimal effort. You take away my ability to read books or watch a podcast, then you're taking away my life blood.

Curses to you, gods of the gym!

Oh, but one good thing: I weighed the same at the doctor's office as I do here, so my losing weight isn't an evil hoax played out on a broken scale.

Update! Success! (This is from last week, but posting it today because I suck)

2010-08-05T09:31:00.000-07:00

Well, sorta. I'm down two pounds from last week at 204.8! Awesome for me! That makes a grand total of 9 pounds down from when I started, which seems sooooo long ago. I'll call it a real success when my clothes don't fit anymore and I can wear a normal-sized necklace around my fat neck.

No, I didn't fall off the wagon.

2010-08-03T04:02:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted because I've been really busy with work. From last week: I lost about a pound. I don't remember the exact figure, so let's just call it 206. I changed my weigh-in day to Thursday because for whatever reason, on Sunday I'm skinny (yes, I know, I'm not really), and then come Monday morning, I've gained weight. It's not like I'm going to a buffet Sunday night to eat until I burst...so I just decided to change the day.

With that said, I went and weighed myself this morning (yes, it's only Tuesday, I can't follow my own rules), and I'm now fluctuating around 205. So I am losing weight albeit very very slowly. As my wonderful momma pointed out: I didn't put on all the weight in a week and I'm not going to lose it all in a week. One can dream, though? (And I think I might have put on at least 2-3 lbs a week since about Mateo's 2nd month in my womb.)

Anyhoo.

One thing I wanted to say in response to a comment left on my last post about eating so my body doesn't think its starving - My body is so not starving anymore. I'm hardly ever really hungry. When I am hungry, I just eat something. I'm using the points system to diet, which has proven itself to be the only way I can lose weight and I don't know why besides it's some psychological trick that works on my brain, and I've gone from eating 32 pts worth of food (which I now find to be a HUGE amount of food), to around 25. And lately, I only get to 25 by eating frozen yogurt as my dessert (because, as we all know, one must have dessert).

And again, I'm rarely hungry.

So that's not the problem.

Increasing my workouts and using weights? Yes, that would help, but my biggest excuse/reason for not doing so it lack of time. I work 40 plus hours a week, and am the caretaker of a wily three year old, the chef extraordinaire of my humble abode, the cleaning lady, and the accountant. I'm just now figuring out how to do all that and get things done each day. So to add more working out right now would be a bit much. But some day. Maybe when it starts snowing again and is so cold my nose hairs freeze as soon as I step outside the door. That's when the Wii fit will start looking like a great idea again. (I dusted the Wii fit board this weekend and a small kitten appeared.)

I'll give a proper update as to how things are going and what I'm doing to get through this madness on or soon after Thursday, working and personal time permitting!

Oh, and reading a book about cooking while on the treadmill isn't as counterproductive as it may sound. There is way too much talk about cow cheeks and livers and duck fat for me to get hungry.

The saddest dieter is one who diets and exercises and can't lose weight.

2010-07-20T06:21:00.000-07:00

And that would be me. I've been consistenly stuck at 207. 4. It goes up or down a few ounces, but let's just round it and call that the average. How is that possible? Yesterday, I weighed myself in the morning and at night - 207.4. I weighed myself today after going to the gym but also after eating a mini bagel - 207.4.

I walked for what seemed like ages on Sunday, up and down hills (yes, Minnesota has hills), and in the stupid humidity (71% -- not nice), have been dieting like a mad lady, and I still can't get past this plateau. Aren't plateaus supposed to happen after losing, oh, say 20 lbs or something?

So I lowered my points again. My husband suggested intensifying my "workouts," which would mean walking faster on the treadmill or something. While I understand intensifying anything would help out, I wasn't too keen on the advice.

As I walked into the gym today, I saw an elliptical near the treadmills I use, so I thought, I'll do that for ten minutes after my walk. I finished my walking, got in the stupid elliptical (yes, I wrote 'stupid,' because it is stupid and I hate it), and almost died. Sadly, I had it at level 1 and was only planning on using it for 5 minutes. I also choose the "random" setting, so I was forced to use that stupid machine while going up and down hills. For 5 minutes. I changed it to the "manual" setting, which makes it flat with no surprises, and lasted maybe 3 minutes. I was dripping with sweat and I thought my thighs were going to burst into flames from the tension I was forcing on them. I burnt up maybe 20 calories doing this. I was done.

So that was my attempt at "intesifying" my workout. I ended up leaving 5 minutes earlier than I normally would and turned my legs into spaghetti.

I'm way out of shape, what can I say. Besides it's a start. Not giving up. No way. I just have to figure out what's not working for me. I even went so far as to search for "dieting but not losing weight" to see if maybe I had some weird disease that is classified by that description. Nope. Just says drinking alcholol (I haven't really), eating food off the your kid's plate (nope), and snacking while cooking (do veggies count?) can do you in. Also throwing in an extra dash of this, tablespoon of that can up your calorie intake. All things I haven't been doing. There was the Sun Chips incident yesterday, the one where I ate a whole lot...but I ended up counting them even though I wasn't planning on doing so.

On to better things than my cry for help. I finished Nice Big American Baby by Judy Budnitz and now I've moved on to a book about cooking. Oh, the irony. But back to Judy Budnitz for a bit. I loved the book. I love her writing. I admire her greatly. Every story was fantastic. Back to the book on food and cooking: Heat: An Amateur's Adventures as Kitchen Slave, Line Cook, Pasta-Maker, and Apprentice to a Dante-Quoting Butcher in Tuscany (Vintage) by Bill Buford. So far, it's very interesting. I guess the first part of the book is on Mario Batali, and I'll tell you, he's no where near like what I expected him to be. I think chefs are a bunch of rebels, and he just proves it. Not so sure Jacques Pepin was a rebel, but he is mean to his daughter on his PBS show, so there's that.

Dinners this week are fairly simple -- I made a "no chop" stew yesterday (although I did have to shop the pork loin), and then I'll be making a Mexican meatloaf with potatoes.

Onward with a positive twinkle in my eyes. Or something like that.

So this is weird.

2010-07-12T15:54:00.000-07:00

I weighed myself this morning and I was 207.4. I spent the whole day hungry, which hasn't happened in a week or so, and so I decided to give myself a second chance, and I weighed myself when I got home from work. I am 206. 2 after full day of sitting around like a lump and eating...well, not much, really. My packed lunches always seem like a lot when I'm packing them, but then when all the food is gone by 1pm, I realize how little I did in fact pack.

Anyway! I'm happy for the pound gone. I was beginning to feel like a dieting loser.

I lowered my points to 30 from 32 because I haven't been eating all my points anyway, and I was discouraged, and so there goes 2 points. I need to figure out how to manage exercising on the weekends plus doing housework plus spending time with the family. If only my kid wasn't such a bunch of lazy bones when it comes to long walks. Lazybones and lollygags - that's my kid.

So this week we're having turkey brats again that aren't really brats but just hot sausages. And let me tell you, they are darn good. And only 4 points each! Still sticking to meat and veggies with little starch. I'm slowly compiling a pretty good bundle of veggie side recipes. And I'm eating a ton of watermelon - it's perfect this time of year, especially when it's cold.

I'm still reading Nice Big American Baby by Judy Budnitz. It's pretty long, but really good, and I keep wanting to read instead of doing anything else (pretty good encouragement to go to the gym, dontcha think?).

So that's the news on me. How about you?

Update.

2010-07-06T06:28:00.000-07:00

I didn't gain, I didn't lose. Stayed the same. Which I find really interesting since I haven't been eating as much as I was and have exercised more. But oh well, those are the breaks for the week.

I just finished up The Anomalies by Joey Goebel, which was meh. Not something I would typically read, but it was quick, so I finished it up. I'm now reading Nice Big American Baby by Judy Budnitz, which is the type of book I like to read, and all I want to do is read it so that thing called life is getting in my way. But, at least, it gives me the incentive to get my butt to the gym, which is the only time I can consistently read anything for longer than 30 minutes.

We've discovered the wonders of McCormick Grill Mates, so we've been eating grilled chicken breasts as of late. This week I'm keeping it simple with turkey brats (probably the worst thing I will be eating for dinner since the news of my high cholesterol...oh, except for that pizza I had on Saturday night....(which might be the reason I didn't lose any weight, curses to you, pizza!)) and pre-marinated pork tenderloin with some simple veggie sides. Tonight we're having a big salad with leftover chicken.

All in all, I think I've been doing well even if I did succumb to the pizza, but hey, I'm only human.

Hmmm....Coincidence?

2010-06-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

So the weight update is: 207.

Since I had my doc appointments last week, I never made it to the gym. Sure, I could have gone during the weekend, but I had a house to clean and sleep to sleep....

One of my doc appointments was to get my cholesterol and glucose checked since now I'm a lady over 35 (old) and on the pill. Turns out my cholesterol is super high and so is something else they checked (not glucose), and yeah, talk about having to tighten up the boot straps even more. At least I started the weight loss effort before all this, so it's not coming so much as a shock that I can't eat french fries and chicken burgers followed by cake.

So now not only do I have to lose weight so I can just lose weight, but because I might have a heart attack or develop diabetes. In the process, since the pill could possibly make a heart attack or diabetes happen even more, I've been taken off the pill and now must suffer monthly, which I do anyway, but this blog isn't about that and about me losing weight.

So. To recap. I lost a smidge between last week and this week, I need to keep losing or I'll end up ill, and where was I when I did this to myself?

I was worried...

2010-06-21T03:25:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Father's Day on Saturday by going to a trendy Mexican restaurant where I ate a tasty fried pork sandwich, chips and guacamole, and drank two beers. I had a brat (like a hot dog, but more hearty and flavorful (a Midwest thing)), beans, more guacamole and chips and later some cake. Hoooo boy. No counting, obviously. I think I would have been over my points with lunch alone.

Then Sunday I made a tasty breakfast but counted the points (half my daily points gone...), and later we had brats again (other half gone....).

And...I still managed to lose weight!

I'm at 207.4.

I only went to the gym once last week due to a bloody nose and working from the office in lieu of being at home. This week is going to be the same way due to doctor appointments.

Dinner updates later if I remember.

Still reading the same book. I started reading it outside of the gym because it's just silly and funny and an easy read, so I'm sure I'll be on to something else this week.

Sad, sad, just sad.

2010-06-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

I was trying to figure out what I could eat for dinner in lieu of the chicken I made (nothing wrong with it, just didn't feel like having it - let's call it "stress eating"). We have very few options for fast food around us because everything is so spread out, and to get anything takes forever, so it's good in many ways and bad in others. Usually we get pizza delivered. The other two options are Ruby Tuesday and Chipotle since they are at the bus station. Anything else is too much trouble.

So I thought Chipotle. Surely that's okay. I looked it up on Dottie's Weight Loss Zone, and yeah, no, it's not. Then I calculated pts on my own, and yeah, it still isn't. I was sad. I told my husband I cannot have Chiptole or anything else for that matter. He was sad. He told me to chase our son around our court so I can gain exercise points. I said no, that's not how it works.

And here's the real sad part (although the above makes me sad that I would eat whatever and in large amounts because I was having a bad day): one veggie burrito without sour cream is about 20 pts. That's A LOT in the grand scheme of dieting things. But how much is half a burrito? That's right, 10 pts. Why did it take me 20 minutes to come up with the plan of only eating half a burrito instead of a full burrito and saving the other half for tomorrow? I don't know. I'm too programmed. I know I wouldn't think of eating half of anything (maybe a banana if I was sharing with my son) normally.

Sigh.

So good news is: I am getting my burrito. And I'm having a salad that I will make myself. AND I still get a little treat at the end of the night.

And I get half a burrito for lunch tomorrow!

Brilliant!

The week after the week of not really dieting.

2010-06-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

Update! I'm 209.6. Which I will call a success considering I couldn't completely diet while on vacation and my husband and I celebrated our 11 year anniversary Saturday by indulging in Japanese food (which wasn't all that bad, diet-wise, because they didn't give us rice).

I finished The Aqua Net Diaries: Big Hair, Big Dreams, Small Town by Jennifer Niven (sis, if you're reading this, you'd like this book). I'm starting The Guinea Pig Diaries: My Life as an Experiment by A.J. Jacobs.

For meals this week, we are having:

Sausage and Bow Ties (I didn't use as much oil as the recipe called for and used some tasty sausage from Trader Joe's in lieu of kielbasa, and yes, I like to break the rules). This was really tasty.

Whole chicken in the crock pot with BBQ sauce all over it with some sort of side (I have two from Trader Joe's plus a whole mess of other things in the pantry).

Pork tenderloin in the crock pot plus a side. It's cooked with onion soup mix and a few other tasty things. I'm pretty sure I've made this before, but I could be wrong.

Dessert has been Edy's Slow Churned ice cream because it's darn tasty and low in fat.

I started my son on body dismorphia today by showing him how fun it is to weigh yourself repeatedly, hoping the scale tells you that you miraculously lost weight.

Due to his petite size, he remained 35.2 each time he got on and off the scale. I somehow lost 2 lbs, then gained 1 lb, and then remained steady at 208.6. But I'm still sticking to my morning weigh-in, as that's when I normally do it.

A day early update.

2010-06-06T04:52:00.000-07:00

Since we're leaving today for vacation, and I don't imagine our room will have a scale, I'm doing my weight update today.

Drum roll.... 208.6!

So I guess I'm doing pretty good, first week and all.

I just hope I don't succumb to vacation mentality and eat everything in sight.

Onward!

PS: I finished my gym book at home this weekend, so now I'm either going to start The Aqua Net Diaries: Big Hair, Big Dreams, Small Town or Anthropology of an American Girl: A Novel. I'm taking both with me in hopes I actually get to read.

It's been over a year...where have YOU been?

2010-06-02T14:28:00.000-07:00

Hiya.

Yes, here I am, back again to write about my weight loss, ahem....journey.

No, no, I'm not here to announce after over a year I've lost xx amount of pounds and fit into size 2 jeans. Quite the opposite, actually. I've actually gained weight and fit into size 16 jeans, thank you very much. Women's size 16, which is totally different from regular size 16, but whatever. It's better than 18, women's or regular.

Let's catch up, shall we? I moved to Minnesota at the end of August. I still have a kid - he didn't go anywhere. I can't really blame my weight on any such baby as now he's three and a walking, talking, living, breathing KID. I work from home a lot, and did so almost consecutively during the months of December - February (what happens in Minnesota during these months? Anyone? SNOW! Right on!) and pretty much indulged as I wished on anything and everything because it wasn't like I could go outside and walk around. Oh, and I suffered a small Wii Fit accident and hurt my leg. Those are my stories and I'm sticking to them. WAAAY back in June of last year I had bunion surgery, and that pretty much put a huge damper on my exercise regime, which I did in fact have at the time and was doing pretty good at slowly losing weight. It took about 6 months to heal from the bunion surgery, which means another excuse for not exercising, but I'm really glad I did it as I don't suffer from horrible foot pain anymore (which should be a fantastic incentive to get back on track and exercise! Yeaaaaahhhh....you'd think).

What leads me back to the here and now? Oh, I'm just tired of being a big blob. I also would like another baby to replace the one that turned into a kid, but there is no way in heck I will try that until I lose some of this poundage. I've been going to the gym three times a week or walking around the neighborhood (which, by the way, in the spring/summer/fall is quite lovely and easy to walk around). My dear mother sort of coerced me into a ghettofied version of Weight Watchers (look here) by telling me to download the app to my iphone and start dieting. (I know she won't say that's how it happened, but I swear I saw a gun on her end of the video chat.) Once upon a time I was a fatty mcgoo of lessor weight, and I went on Weight Watchers, and I lost most of the excess weight (to a tune of 40 plus pounds), and I found many ways to eat things I liked while being on Weight Watchers, and so I call it a success. I figure if I could do it before, I can do it again, and this time I only paid 3 bucks in lieu of 15 bucks a month (it's probably more now, and in no way am I receiving money from the app people or Weight Watchers, even though the amount of times I've written 'Weight Watchers,' I think they owe me a lifetime membership) and a lot of searching for food items using different apps and basically driving myself nuts.

So let's be honest with each other - I weighed myself for the first time since last time I got on the evil Wii Fit board thing, and I am (was) 213 point something or other. I miraculously lost 2 lbs literally OVERNIGHT (peed it out, I suppose), and now I'm 210.

And yes, I decided to get back on the bandwagon the week before we go on our very first family vacation! Go, me! But I can do it. Luckily I like salads.

So I'm back. I guess I'll share my recipes, my weekly weight loss (see, I'm positive -- no room for weight gain here, no way), and the books I'm reading while walking nowhere at the gym.

This week's reading is Jennifer Lancaster's Pretty in Plaid. It's way better than her last one, which I felt was just her trying to fulfill her book contract. And it doesn't require many working brain cells to read. Sometimes you just need that in your life. And she's much bigger than I am, so while I'm walking nowhere, I get to feel skinny and superior.

Here's a meal I made last night that actually turned out to be quite tasty: Tex Mex Pork and Mushroom Skillet. It doesn't have the nutritional information, so I had to guess at everything. There's really not much to it. Enjoy!

So.

2009-04-28T13:32:00.000-07:00

I came to a realization the other day, while my husband and I were out having a nice meal and a nice restaurant sans child - a very rare occurrence indeed, that I do not have the same body as I did pre-Mateo and from years ago. I mean, it was never like I could eat a donut or two and not suffer the consequences, but I could get rid of it pretty quick by exercising and eating well.

So instead of dieting by counting calories, I decided I really needed to cut back on what types of foods I've been eating and eat more fruits and veggies. I began this on Sunday. I don't know what I weighed then, but I do know from the last time I weighed myself, I've lost 3 lbs.

My husband and I have horrible eating habits. He still has been bringing donuts home, we eat out a lot, we eat a lot of carbs and fattening foods. So who am I kidding that I can eat that stuff while exercising 2-3 times a week and lose weight? It's just not going to happen.

I stopped the constant snacking on processed foods and started eating more fruits. I stopped the bowl of cereal for dessert - if I want that, I have a small amount but not a full meal-sized bowl, which is what I've been doing. I am eating veggie soup for lunch and only bringing fruit and yogurt to snack on and a health bar for breakfast.

I went to the doctor today to get referred to a podiatrist because I have a painful bunion I would like "taken care of" (sounds so much more sinister that way), and I was told I have high blood pressure. I'm always told this, but no doctor seems to care until today. I was told that while I might look 25 years old (thanks doc!), I have to treat my 35-year old body like it's 35 and not 25. And I guess that's what I've been doing. So she said to cut out salt and excess sugars and eat more fruits and veggies and exercise. And to lose weight. I told her I am, I am, I know, I know. She then told me to come back in 6 months and get rechecked, and if my blood pressure isn't better, she's going to treat me because, as she put it, she's not letting me have a heart attack or kidney failure on her watch.

Shhhesh, put it that way....

Then I went to the podiatrist whose nurse was concerned about my blood pressure as well, and then the doctor mentioned it, and okay, okay, OKAY! I get it.

The biggest change in our eating habits at dinner is not eating a heavy carb with our meal, which is something we always seem to do and we do it excessively. I have a nice repetoire of healthy veggies sides to go with some sort of meat item. It's been working out okay, and yes, I do realize it's only Tuesday, but give a girl a break.

So here I go, climbing back on the wagon and heading off on into the sunset.

Nondate instead of update.

2009-04-10T13:26:00.000-07:00

I was going to weigh myself, but as I jumped on the scale, I noticed it screaming "BATT" at me, which means the battery is dead. By the time it would be charged, I would have eaten and this and that and there and so on and so forth, so I just decided to skip this week.

I have been going to the gym.

I have been eating better.

I probably have not lost weight, though.

Sigh.

Meals for the week (now that the week is almost done).

2009-04-02T08:06:00.001-07:00

So things have been a tad hectic this week, and I yet again didn't post our weekly meals. I ended up having to change it, but this is what it was and will be:

Sunday and Monday: Chicken breast marinated in a tasty teriyaki marinade with Couscous Black Bean Salad (was supposed to be Quinoa, but I used israeli couscous instead because it's darn tasty).

Tuesday and Wednesday: Trader Joe's Tequila-lime Chicken Burgers with some TJ's guacamole, tomato and red onion on a whole wheat bun and some shoe string fries.

Thursday and Friday: Crockpot Green Chile Pork with corn tortillas and refried beans. I only use the linked recipe for the pork part of it. I don't make the roll-ups. We've had this before, and it's darn tasty.

Sunday and Monday: Pork Teriyaki Kabobs with white rice. We haven't had kabobs in a long time, so I thought this would be a good change from my crockpot cooking.

Saturday is our "free" day, which really means I don't have to cook. Ha!

Weight update.

2009-04-02T07:59:00.000-07:00

Phew. I lost weight. Not much, but I did.

I am 209.2 lbs.

Go me!

Oh dear. I "forgot."

2009-03-27T18:49:00.000-07:00

I weighed myself and was sad, so I forgot all about posting my weight update. I even made a point to weigh myself after I went to the gym in hopes I would lose 5 lbs from sweating, but alas, that was not the case.

So the total for yesterday was 210.6 lbs. Yes, that's right. I go and join a gym, eat some pizza, have a cupcake or two, and gain back the 1 measly pound I lost plus .6 oz. Go me!

I had a doctor appt. later that day, and I weighed even more than that, but I was fully clothed, so boo on their stupid medical scale.

I also had high blood pressure, which only the nurse was concerned about. I chalk that up to being fat.

Today we had a fun-filled fire drill, where we had to go down 4 flights of stairs and then back up 4 flights of stairs, and I was doing really good until I got up 2 flights and I thought I was going to keel over and die or my legs were going to give out on me.

I told my husband that I needed to use the treadmill more to build up my endurance. And once I did that, then I just might try the horrible, horrendous, and very much hated elliptical. Because it's very obvious to me that my leg muscles are only strong enough to keep me upright and walking and nothing else (like hiking up 4 flights of stairs without almost collapsing).

My husband told me that the elliptical would help me in that area, and it's really good to use a variety of equipment instead of just one type.

So I told him, Mr. I love to exercise at 4:30 in the morning, that if I got on the elliptical today (or tomorrow, or even next week), I would be the "fat girl" on the elliptical. And after a few pumps of my legs, I would soon fall over to the side, and all the gym people would come over and say, "Oh, look, the fat girl fell over," and I so did not want to be someone's funny story for the day.

Unless it's my funny story.

That's different.

Lesson #123: No weighing yourself with wet hair.

2009-03-19T05:08:00.000-07:00

So I weighed myself this morning with wet hair and was 210, which made me very sad because I feel better so why doesn't my weight reflect that, and then a whole mess of internal whining ensued.

Then I dried my hair and weighed myself (same clothes on - PJs basically), and I lost a pound!

Lesson learned? Don't weigh yourself with wet hair unless that's how you started weighing yourself.

So I lost a whole pound and I am darn pleased.

I forgot to do my dinner updates for the week, so here goes:

Chicken Tenders (I cooked them in the oven at 425 for 20 minutes with a soyaki sauce on them) with Cilantro Pesto (soooo good) with a side of savory herb rice (super easy to make and really tasty - beats a boxed rice mix any day).

Santa Fe Meatloaf with mashed potatoes and corn cobs.

Slow Cooker Quick & Easy Pork Chops with a side of frozen veggies from Trader Joe's.

Our meals got screwed up this week because of St. Patty's day, so I'm not sure when we're having the last two, not that that really matters.

As far as the gym goes, I've been going and walking for an hour each time, and I'm really glad I joined because it gives me time alone for one hour and who doesn't love that?

As far as being bad goes, we were bad on St. Patty's and had horrible fish and chips, and my boss gave me a lemon tart on Monday, and I, being the piggy that I am, started eating it without even thinking that I was trying to lose weight. But it was good.

So that is my story for this week.

One pound! Woohoo!

Fatty weight update.

2009-03-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

Argh.

So yes, I finally did it.

And like ripping off a bandage that you know will hurt like a dickens, I leave you with this and then I'm off to count calories (even though I have been doing well without counting them, thank you very much):

I am 210.

TWO HUNDRED AND TEN POUNDS!!!!

I'm so glad I'm going to the gym today to walk my butt off.

Woohoo! I'm not sick any longer!

2009-03-10T14:01:00.000-07:00

I refused a slice of banana bread AND a piece of cake at work yesterday. (I was harassed about the banana bread and wasn't about the cake - really, people, if someone refuses food, just let it go!)

I have managed to keep control of myself WITHOUT counting calories (shear laziness) these past two days.

I am trying my hardest to avoid carbs unless they are whole wheat carbs; a task that is rather difficult for me.

I AM going to the gym today to walk my little (okay, big) butt off before picking up Mateo.

And I making this Zesty Cowboy Stew (but with turkey) which is smelling an awful lot like a big pot of bacon although there is no bacon in it.

I still haven't weighed myself, but since I was sick for practically two weeks and didn't care a lick about dieting or health, I'm not going to worry about it.

The other meal for this week is Emily's Sloppy Joe's, which is one of our favorite meals and linked over there on the left.

Update on that gym thing.

2009-03-02T12:28:00.000-08:00

So yes, I rejoined a gym near our house and used it for the first time on Thursday. I stop working while at home around 3pm, so it's the perfect time to go. Any time after 4 or 5pm means every single stupid treadmill will be occupied, and I would either have to hang around the treadmills until someone gets off and then hop on it immediately, or do something else like using the dreadful row while standing up machine. Although I'm sure there would be a few recumbent bikes open. Or a StairMaster or two. You know, the old skool machines no one wants to use these days. I might as well bring my own step so I can do step aerobics by myself.

So yes, that is the perfect time to go to the gym, and even though I was just getting over a slight cold, I packed up my gym bag (including a lovely water bottle purchased the same morning) and headed off. I walked my little heiny off for a good 50 minutes and then left to go pick up Mateo. I also got to read, which is always a plus for me these days. And I eyeballed the meat heads working out and showing off for the more "in shape" ladies about (Read: Can throw a rock on any part of their bodies and it would bouce off and hit you in the head).

That night I woke up with a sore throat. That morning I woke up with the same sore throat and snot up the wazoo. So apparently not being completely over a cold and then going to the gym and sweating profusely, and then getting into the car and blasting icy AC air on oneself is not the best idea. And I was sick all weekend, and I'm still sick today, although I've restarted my diet today even though all I want to do is eat chocolate donuts.

I won't be going back to the gym until Thursday since I'll be in SF tomorrow (and I have to eat out because I'm in a class where they don't provide any food, but there is a Starbucks in the building, so at least I can plan to a certain extent and not just settle - I was also thinking of bring a PB&J sandwich since that is the only sandwich I would trust unrefrigerated and I can measure the peanut butter out better than I can judge a sandwich in a plastic container), but I do plan to go Tuesdays and Thursdays when I am home, and then twice during the weekend. We're even going to try to throw Mateo into the kid daycare at the gym while we both do our gym thing, but the way he's been lately, I'm not sure he'll be cool with that idea.

So.

Now onto the meals for the week:

Tonight / tomorrow: Kung Fu Turkey burgers with packaged potato wedges. I'm going to try to eliminate my need for mayo, but usually with burgers I can't. At least it's low fat /calorie mayo.

Wednesday: Veggie lasagna from Trader Joe's - we usually eat the whole thing, even though we're not supposed to. Let's see how that goes.

Thursday / Friday: Chicken tacos w/refried beans on the side.

And I keep telling myself to charge the stupid batteries to the scale, and I really hope that I do because I'm living in a fantasy world where I actually lost a pound or two and that'll just make me so happy come Thursday to discover it's actually true.

News Flash!!

2009-02-25T20:02:00.000-08:00

This Fatty McGoo joined a gym. Oh yes she did. Stayed tuned for more bafoonarie.

No weight update this week.

2009-02-20T04:37:00.001-08:00

My week went wonky, plus the batteries in the scale (the new ones I had to find) need to be charged, so I'm passing on this week. I've got to assume my weight isn't much different. I probably just lost all that water I gained last week or the week ago, or whatever it was.

So some stuff.

2009-02-16T07:28:00.000-08:00

That week I said I was bowing out? Oh my.

It seems each day was filled with horrible eating, but at the same time, good eating. I indulged. A lot.

So now that means I have to get back on track. At least until Easter. No - make that St. Patty's Day.

This week's meals will include (and I can't label the days because things are sorta up in the air right now and constantly changing):

Veggie enchiladas
Pork Tenderloin Creole with rice

So, it's been fun, good eating and free meals and non-free meals, but now I must stop.

Bowing out....

2009-02-06T13:51:00.000-08:00

Okay. So. This week has not been a good week. And what's really sad? I swore I weighed 204.6 the week before, and when I weighed myself in the morning (after coffee and a chocolate donut, argh), and saw it said 208 and some ounces, I just got right off that scale and headed to my bedroom and pretended like that did not happen.

But it did.

Now I'm happy to realize I only gained like 2 lbs and not 4 like I thought. Phew.

I am blaming water retention though.

Anyway. This week was bad, next week will be much worse, so I'm going to skip a week of even thinking about a diet.

However. I have talked to my husband about me joining his gym again, and he and I going on the weekends and sticking our boy in the daycare for an hour or so, so he's going to see what the daycare hours are (knowing my luck, they aren't open on the weekends), and then I'm probably going to join next week and start going by the weekend. I also plan to relieve my worries about the treadmill being used at our condo gym this way because I'll go to the gym-gym instead of the condo gym the days I work from home.

So that's my story albeit a sad one.

Dinners this week.

2009-02-02T08:50:00.000-08:00

I have to work in SF Mon-Wed., so that complicates what I can make for dinner. I'm going the "heat up and eat" route:

Today and Tuesday: Chicken burgers with TJ fries and veggies.
Wednesday: Omelette with beans and tortillas
Thursday and Friday: Catonese Pork with rice and salad

Viola! Dinner!

Weight day!

2009-01-29T11:35:00.000-08:00

I'm a really bad dieter. Although I can't be too upset because of how last week went. I didn't gain, I didn't lose. I think that's pretty good, considering.

So that is: 206.4 lbs.

Dinners...

2009-01-26T09:34:00.000-08:00

Last night I made Turkey Sausage Pasta Bake, and I would suggested using some really flavorful turkey or chicken sausage or you will lose a ton of flavor, I think. I bought Trader Joe's chicken jalapeno sausages, which weren't the crumbly, break up to cook kind, but the slice into chunks, I'm already cooked kind. Not only were they less fat and calories than the sausage type the recipe called for, it saved some cooking time.

I might also mention that I bought this a few weeks ago, and I tell you, it cooks fabulous pasta, saves time, and you don't have to watch the pot for over boiling. If you cook a lot of pasta, I would suggest buying this.

Tuesday and Wednesday I'm making Crockpot Green Chile Pork Taco Roll Ups, but it's more to just get the meat cooked than to follow the recipe. We'll be using corn tortillas and having some non-fat refried beans on the side.

Thursday and Friday we're having breaded chicken tenders from Trader Joe's (easy!) with some simple sage stuffing and a side of veggies (probably corn). I'm on another stuffing hankering.

I must admit I haven't been perfect this weekend, but at least we didn't eat out. The husband and I are going out to lunch today because we're going on a movie/lunch date, so I think I was in the "oh well" frame of mind. We'll see how much that hurt me come Thursday.

And how much did I lose?

2009-01-22T07:35:00.000-08:00

I faithfully jumped on the scale this morning (without my socks on because you just know socks add a ton of weight, and yes, I really made a conscious decision to weigh myself this way) and was greeted with: 206.4 lbs! Whoohooo! I lost 2 ounces!

Hey, it's a start.

Never mind I ate pizza and donuts this weekend and was sick last week.

I've been doing really good this week although I'm not counting my calories like I should. I'm just eating pretty much the same amount of calories for each meal, and then at dinner, I eat the correct portions. I admit the non-counting stems more from laziness than anything else.

This week I even refused a tasty muffin that someone had offered me while I was at work and pieces of chocolate my husband was eating last night. We've also been following our meals plans carefully, and for once have eaten all the leftovers as well (for lunch if not for dinner the next night), which does a food budget good.

I walked on the treadmill Tuesday after working and plan to do the same today.

All in all, I think I'm finally on the right track.

Dinner plans.

2009-01-18T07:25:00.001-08:00

This week I decided to go more easy than I normally do. And the meals are:

Tonight / Monday: The casserole I never made last week because of the flu bug.

Tuesday/Wednesday: Slow-cooker Braised Pork with Salsa with a side of Avocado-Corn Sals a and baked chips.

Thursday/Friday: Chicken breasts with some sorta Asian sauce/marinade (store bought) and tasty frozen Trader Joe's mashed potatoes.

This weekend wasn't the best. I admit it. Although it's only Sunday, so I have time to redeem myself. A pizza found its way into our house Friday night, and a big donut showed up on Saturday morning....

Stricken by the flu bug.

2009-01-16T04:41:00.000-08:00

Due to having a massive headache since late Tuesday night, I decided to forgo the Thursday weigh-in. When I did eat these past few days, I wasn't paying attention to how much I was eating. It was more "I know I need to eat, so I'm just going to pour myself a bowl of cereal and commence eating" thing than, "Oh, I can barely think or move, so I'm going take the time to measure out this lovely cereal here, so I can still weigh-in on Thursday and post said weight for all to see!"

Stay tuned for next week. At least I did weigh myself once this week....

Back on the wagon now that my noggin is feeling a lot better!

What we've all be waiting for!

2009-01-13T07:48:00.000-08:00

I found the scale (hall closet), I replaced that batteries (the batteries disappeared again, but I found them - that wiley squirrel can't hide everything from me!), and I weighed my fatty mcgoo self. I wish I had something fantastic to report, like I'm still where I was a few months ago, but let's not kid ourselves. Once a Fatty McGoo, always a Fatty McGoo unless I'm trying to really do something about it.

So....duh duh da! The starting point for me is a whopping 206.6 lbs! Kinda scary. Kinda icky. Kinda horrible not to mention completely unhealthy. Makes me wonder what I was last week when I started the diet.

Anyhoo. I'm not going to beat myself up about it all. Today I plan on going to our condo gym and walking for a good 45 minutes or so. I know I need to get exercising in if I really want to make any dents in my weight anytime soon.

I'll still be weighing myself on Thursdays. I just needed to get my starting point.

The old dinner plans....

2009-01-11T15:37:00.000-08:00

For this week, I am making:

Sunday/Monday - Portobello "Philly Cheese Steak" Sandwich with potato wedges.

Tuesday/Wednesday - Pork Green Chile

Thursday/Friday - Chilaquiles Casserole

We've been eating more with Mateo, and he's actually trying more new foods now. I'm trying to make things that I think he'll like to try, but some of it I doubt he will.

Diet went well this weekend. Still need to find the scale. Husband has been supportive and not coming home with giant cinnamon rolls and is asking me how much I can have of this and that instead of plopping food in front of me - food I'll then just mindlessly eat.

Another update.

2009-01-09T12:34:00.000-08:00

The batteries have been found. But they were found right before I had to go to work and I was too lazy to take them out of the packaging and go on a hunt for the scale (which I still can't find).

I think I'll weigh-in on Monday and then on Thursday, and continue to weigh-in on Thursdays.

Let's just say: I weigh A LOT.

More updates...

2009-01-08T10:46:00.000-08:00

1. The batteries are probably in a remote control car and its remote.
2. I can't find the car or the remote.
3. Still can't find the scale.

Stay tuned.

No weight update. Yet.

2009-01-08T08:32:00.000-08:00

I found the bag that was holding my batteries, but mysteriously, my batteries are missing. Which makes it hard to weigh myself. And even more mysteriously, I can't find the scale.

Never fear, I'm still dieting.

Oh, hello there.

2009-01-05T08:20:00.000-08:00

So here we are in 2009, and I highly doubt I lost any weight and I'm fairly certain I gained a whole bunch. But that's okay! That is a-okay.

I found a new web site for tracking calories, and I like it so much better than the other two I was using because I guessed what my weight is and it's giving me over 2000 calories a day vs. the 1600 I was getting with the other ones. I just plugged in all my calories for the foods I know I'll be eating, and I have about a 1000 left. Which doesn't make sense to me, but who am I to argue with the web site? It's Eating Well, by the way.

They database for foods stinks, so I'm not sure I'll end up sticking with it. I've had to add almost everything myself, and there is that whole laziness factor with how I like to live my life, so I might be heading back to The Daily Plate.

I will continue my weigh-ins on Thursday, but that's if I can find where the batteries are that I bought months ago for our scale.

The dinner plans for this week are:

Tonight - Vegetable and Sausage Skillet Supper (we're having leftovers - this was actually really good and I'm not a fan of brown rice)

Tuesday - Tijuna Torta with the tasty slow cooker chicken meat I've made 50 bazillion times and love, love, love

Wednesday - Leftovers

Thursday - Spicy Chicken Tacos (using the slow cooker chicken - nice way to stretch a dime, yes?)

Friday - Maybe leftovers, but I'm not sure there will be anything left over. I might buy a rotisserie chicken so we can use up whatever foods remain from the tacos. Otherwise I have to pick something up because I didn't plan correctly.

I intend to exercise when I have time, but lately on the days I work at home, I have to run errands before picking up the weight causer from daycare, so we'll see. I'm trying to start this off without making promises and just trying to get into the swing of things.

Go ME!

2008-11-06T16:38:00.000-08:00

For the first time since before becoming pregnant I.....walked on the treadmill! And read! And finished a book I've been reading for about 4 months! And it didn't really take up any of my time! Well it did, but I realized I wanted to do it instead of feeling like I had to do it, so it didn't feel like it was taking up my time.

Not only that, but I've been eating way better this past week, although not counting calories or anything like that. Just trying to be smart.

So who knows. Maybe I'll be down 5 lbs or even 10 lbs by the end of the year versus the 20 lbs I wanted to lose. And that's way better than being up or going no where. Unless you're on a treadmill and then going no where is okay.

Um, hi, it's me.

2008-11-02T20:38:00.000-08:00

So on Friday I felt like a complete bloated fish. Not that I really know what that feels like, but that's exactly how I felt. And I realized I'm going no where fast. And then I realized, I keep realizing this and never doing anything. And then I realized how much I suck.

We've been eating vegetarian meals almost every night, with some meat thrown in here and there. You'd think it would be doing wonders, but it's not. It's really jacking up my digestive system, which was the one big complaint I had last time we tried to do this. That and I just didn't feel the greatest after a bit.

So with that all said, here are our meal plans for the week:

Tonight we had meatless meatball sandwiches and ranch style beans. My husband made them, put way too many meatless meatballs in my sandwich, I took them out after eating the sandwich halfway, and my husband said, "Lady, they aren't even made of meat!" because this is what I tend to do with any sort of meatball or meat patty sandwich I eat.

Tomorrow we're having some frozen then heat up eggplant thing from Trader Joe's. And corn cobs if I remember to cook them.

Tuesday and Wednesday we're having Black Bean Zucchini Quesadillas with Spanish Rice.

Thursday and Friday we're having Vegetarian Chili, and I'm getting rid of all my cans of various beans! Whoohooo!

Saturday or Sunday we're having Mom's Noodle Bake with a meat substitute (this is completely an experiment since I've only cooked with a meat crumble substitute before, but never in something that is baked like this).

I've been walking during lunch while at work and am trying to convince myself that I can go to our condo gym the days I work from home - either after I drop off Mateo or before I pick him up, which means I will have to pick him up a bit later than I normally do on these days. I'd like to believe that he would mind and therefor I shouldn't spend my free time actually exercising, but I know that isn't the case and he could care less. I'm also trying to convince myself that if I do walk on the treadmill for a good 30 to 45 minutes these two days and possibly on the weekends, then I will have set time to read, something that is seriously lacking in my life at the moment.

Just today I was trying to read while Mateo was napping, and my husband came in and forced me to take a nap by turning off the light and turning down the music and telling me my eyes were closed so I should just take the nap and stop holding the book like I am reading when we both know I'm not. I informed him that one eye was closed, the other was open, and I was trying to finish a paragraph. So yeah, I ended up passing out.

Anyway. We'll see how it all goes. Something's gotta change. I managed to add in time for school and other things in my life while working and taking care of the boy, I guess I can actually make time for exercising without losing time for naps cause I love my naps. And those dishes will just have to sit and wait a little longer....

So far, so good and a fatty weight update.

2008-10-09T05:14:00.000-07:00

I started counting calories AGAIN on Tuesday. I've only slightly cheated, but that means having a bit of a snack (pita bread and hummus and grapes) while Mateo eats his dinner. I haven't had any dessert, which is usually a big setback for me, and I haven't been so ravenous that I wanted to eat and eat and eat.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

So here are the stats (I wrote all of the above before weighing myself so if my tone drastically changes, you'll know why, and if I admit to running out and buying a dozen donuts and eating them all because what's the point? What's the point, I say!!!!, you'll know why as well):

Well. The batteries died in my scale. Just as well.

(and I can still do this)

Chow for the week

2008-10-06T05:01:00.000-07:00

I'm keeping it simple this week. I realized trying to do a little bit more than opening a can of something and heating it up is making me not want to cook when the time to cook arrives.

Last night we had the Chilaquiles Casserole I never made last week with some tasty cheese and jalapeno bread the husband bought at the farmer's market. This was actually really tasty and very simple. And included no meat, which I'm sure my husband didn't like, but too bad for him. We're having leftovers tonight. I'm also going to try it on Mateo and see if he likes it.

Tuesday & Wednesday: Easy and Tasty Barbecue Chicken Sandwiches in the Crock Pot with Red Creamer Potatoes Tossed in Sage.

Thursday & Friday: Recipe: Crockpot Green Chile Pork Taco Roll Ups with refried beans. I'm not following the recipe completely - I just want to pork and then I'm doing my own thing which will make it more healthy.

Last week was a horrible week. We ate out too many times, which not only kills my diet but our budget. Gotta tighten up the belt so I don't feel like eating and tighten up the budget so we can eat out later on in the month.

I do plan to weigh in on Thursday. I also plan to completely ignore the muffins my husband bought on Saturday. Will I do either? Remains to be seen.

Turkey cutlets.

2008-10-01T11:51:00.000-07:00

So I made the turkey cutlets I planned on making, and I have to tell you, I do not like the taste of a dried out turkey cutlet.

I put a piece in my mouth, chewed, stated "oh no, I can't eat this," which made my poor husband stop eating because, as I mentioned before, whenever I do this, it makes him start thinking of his dinner differently and then doesn't want to eat it, so I followed up with, "There isn't anything wrong with it, I just don't like the taste."

He ended up eating it. He was supposed to bring the rest of the cutlets to work for lunch.

Mark turkey cutlets off my list of meat entree possibilities. I had a nice plate of partially cooked potatoes instead. I love it when dinner goes bad in so many different ways.

Donut, be gone!

2008-09-29T07:25:00.000-07:00

Someone offered me half a donut. I said no. They pushed me. I said no. They asked if I was sure. I said yes, and thank you for asking.

They said, you're too good.

If only.

Oh cupcake, how I love thee so.

2008-09-28T21:08:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I ate a few cupcakes today. We all know who to blame on that one.

My husband and I managed to not eat out....oh, never mind. We did. I forgot. We got Wendy's today because my husband was hungry after two certain somebodies' birthday celebration.

This week's meal plan:

Tonight: Scrambled eggs with onion and tomato on a bed of refried beans topped with melted american cheese, salsa and avocado. You can guess who made this tasty meal.

Monday: Grilled chicken tenders with cilantro pesto, zucchini and rice (never made it last week).

Tuesday and Wednesday: Chilaquiles Casserole with Mexican Coleslaw.

Thursday and Friday: Spiced Turkey Cutlets (w/o the salsa if you look at the link) with Salt & Vinegar Roasted Potatoes.

Saturday: Southwestern Cheese Panini with Quinoa Black Bean Salad.

We never made it to the grocery store this weekend, and I can't wait until Tuesday to grocery shop, so tomorrow after I pick up the boy, he and I will venture out grocery shopping alone, without reinforcements (Dad) and after daycare. Wish us luck.

Fatty weight update.

2008-09-25T08:21:00.000-07:00

I am....202.8 oz! Looky me! I haven't lost anything and I haven't gained anything since two weeks ago (although I suspect I did gain last week but then lost it)!

Goooo me!

I haven't counted calories.

I haven't been too bad.

And we're not eating out this week if I can help it (leftovers on Friday, if you didn't notice).

Goooo me!

This week's grub.

2008-09-21T17:54:00.001-07:00

Last week was a truly horrible eating week for me, which followed me into the weekend. Looks like that whole plan of losing at least 20 lbs by the end of the year is turning into a dream. Would it be easier if life was less complicated?

Anyway. The meals for this week are:

Tonight: Kielbasa and peppers subs a la the husband.

Monday: Leftovers

Tuesday: Light turkey dogs on whole wheat hot dog buns with leftover chili I made last week.

Wednesday: Leftovers

Thursday: Slow cooker chicken tacos with mexicorn and refried beans. (This is the best slow cooker chicken recipe I've made so far.)

Friday: Leftovers

Saturday: Grilled Chicken Tenders with Cilantro Pesto (might even make the husband actually grill them on the BBQ...) with either asparagus or a squash and rice.

I didn't bother weighing in last week because I'm sure it would just make me sad. Stay tuned for Thursday's weigh-in.

Meal plans

2008-09-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

I'm sorta, kinda, well... really stealing this idea. But I'm not revolving my blog around it, so I'm okay with it. And it's to help me keep my brain and diet straight. So, if anyone sees what I'm doing, and says, hey, that's just like that other blog where the healthy, thin lady posts her weekly meals and recipes and whatnot, YES, I KNOW. I'm not trying to steal her idea, and believe me, she gets WAY more readers than I do.

So, this week's carefully planned menu comprises of:

Monday and Tuesday: Zaugg Family Chili (I'm substituting ground turkey for beef since we do not partake in cow) and corn on the cob.

Wednesday and Thursday: Rosemary Roasted Pork Tenderloin with Simple Sage Stuffing (for some weird reason I was having a hankering for sage, an herb I like a lot, but rarely use) and mixed veggies.

Sadly, Wednesday and Thursday I will be in all-day classes, so I'll either need to bring a bunch of food to eat that doesn't need refrigeration, or I'll need to eat out. There's always PB&J, though. And I did have that for dinner tonight because I didn't want to eat the turkey burgers I made last night because of my meat issues. And the sandwich was darn tasty.

Friday: Dinner out (my "free" day) - not sure what it'll be since we tend to decide this last minute, same day.

The ingredients for the two meals, four nights were very minimal, so my grocery budget is loving that.

This weekend hasn't been the best for me, and today was probably the worst day. I shared a cheese sandwich with Mateo and chowed down on mini cheese and cracker sandwiches even though I kept telling myself NO, NO, NO. My husband refrained from buy donuts this weekend (thank you, husband), but he did buy bagels and cream cheese. I only had half a bagel Saturday and Sunday, which is so weird for me, I can't help but be pleased.

I'm also not feeling well, and even though I shouldn't blame my lack of control on that, when I don't feel good, I just don't care what's going on.

Fatty weight update.

2008-09-11T05:06:00.000-07:00

Today I weighed 202.8 oz. I'm really good at gaining weight, I've decided. Really good.

I've decided that whole "let my husband portion out my food" idea isn't going to work. We planned on having chicken enchiladas from Trader Joe's last night (very tasty, by the by), and while I was doing something else, my dear, sweet hubby heated up some refried beans to serve with our microwave enchiladas. He then proceeded to give me half the can and himself the other half.

And I proceeded to just eat. That and chips with guacamole. Which was so not part of the plan.

I counted everything I ate yesterday, however, and ate 1955, which is less than what my diet coach says I should be eating daily (2000). So should I feel bad?

Now I bow out in shame...

Who do you talk to when you want to talk food? Fatty McGoo, that's who!

2008-09-08T19:48:00.001-07:00

It seems the perfect person to discuss food with is the one person in the office who is overweight and has said repeatedly that she's trying to lose weight even though there never has been any visible results.

That would be me. Hello! Nice to meet you.

The same person who told me "Oh honey, you're not going to lose 60 lbs!" (I think he's correct) and then forced twizzlers and other food items on me (I resisted...sort of), came over to me today to tell me how he cooked this weekend.

You know, cause food, cooking, losing weight, etc. - that means you come talk to me.

He told me he's always heard that if one wants to lose weight, one should cook for oneself. So that's what he decided to do this past weekend.

His experience consisted of being:

expensive
messy
fattening

And today? Well today he felt sooooo bad from eating all the ambrosia salad he made! Because he made it, therefore, he didn't want to waste it! (Um, hello? You don't eat a 6-serving side dish in one weekend. That's nuts. Especially ambrosia salad.) He also made cream of broccoli soup, the unhealthy version, and something else involving portobello mushrooms.

The whole time he was talking to me, about how he wanted to lose weight, how he thought making his own meals would be wonderful, etc., I was thinking: Why me? What is it about me that's making you come over here, talking me up about your cooking at home experience? Why must the skinny people (and he is) seek out the fat ones and torment them?

More fuel to the fire, I tell you. More fuel to the mothering pooping fire!!!

Maybe I should pay him to come to me daily and annoy me to death about food so I become ornery again and decide to only eat fruit and veggies.

As with most things, my big plans on starting my diet up again hit a big, rusty wrench and now I'm starting on Wednesday. I'm not even giving the details, but it involves volunteering, being driven around, and fear of no way home.

After much deliberation.

2008-09-08T13:09:00.000-07:00

I've told my husband AGAIN he need to support me with my "trying" (written ever so loosely) to lose weight because I'm wide and I really shouldn't be this wide. And when I say wide, I mean wide across my torso and wide sideways. It's like I'm packing enough fat on me to last in the wilderness for months if not years. Like I'm a linebacker and ready to knock anyone over who gets in my way.

I bought some new jeans this past weekend because the cold weather might be upon us soon (not in this flipping heat, but still), and I really like my new jeans because they are sewn like trousers vs. regular jeans, which do nothing for me but make me look like a weeble.

Since today was a cooler day in my area, I decided to wear my new jeans with one of my cap-sleeved tops with an empire waist. Me and empire waists don't really mix well, and usually this shirt looks sorta okay on me (I stress sorta - refer back to the picture of me from the wedding), but when I'm wearing jeans that actually fit me and are made to fit, man oh man, all my belly fat is shoved up to the empire waist part of my shirt and I feel like the biggest human sausage.

But wait? Does that mean they don't, in fact, fit me? Haven't all the make over shows said if you've got belly pushover, that means your pants don't, in fact, fit? Ah well. I digress. I like them, and that's all that matters.

So I'm looking for someone to nominate me for either What Not To Wear, since I'm fairly certain what I do wear is not what I should be wearing, or for How To Look Good Naked, because at this point, no sucking in is going to do a world of good for me.

Or just sponsor me so I can have healthy meals delivered. And never have to think of anything ever again.

Digression, again. I told my husband no more treats. No more giving in to me. No more nothing. And that I'm going to tell him what portion size I should be getting, and he needs to portion out for me because I do really well the first day, but after that, I just cheat. A little extra here, a little more there....and that all adds up. That and tons of cilantro pesto....

Have I lost my very small amount of Fatty McGoo readers?

2008-09-05T11:58:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry. That's all I can say.

Now on to something more fun.

One way to definitely lose your appetite is by looking at the pictures people post on RecipeZaar.

For example, I was trying to plan our meals for next week and was looking at this Crock Pot Pulled Pork recipe. The first picture that comes up is from Sandi in CA. So if you don't see that one, flip through the pictures until you do see it because the other three are actually the best I've seen from this site so far.

Is that appetizing looking? No. It looks like a pile of yuck. Appetite gone.

By random pick we have Oven-Braised Teal (teal? got me). The picture by TeresaS makes me want to run for the hills.

Rumpledethumps (again, got me), picture by Pinot Grigio. Um, yum?

This is where web sites need to put their foot down. I know they want users to build their site for them by posting pictures, comments, recipes, ratings, etc., but don't allow just anyone to post pictures, especially when the food ends up looking like a mother bird has regurgitated it for her babies!

And, by the way, I haven't weighed myself since the last time. In case you're wondering.

Discouraged? Eat pizza!

2008-08-25T07:47:00.000-07:00

After Thursday's weigh-in and realizing I hadn't lost any weight, I vowed never to eat again. I'd starve before I put some food in my big fat mouth! I know, not the best method to lose weight, and really, it wasn't going to happen because I love the food way too much.

I really didn't eat much that day, more because I was busy than anything else, so come 6:30 pm, I was really hungry. And a tad lightheaded from not eating. And tired from just living my life. And not motivated at all to make the portobello philly cheese "steak" sandwiches I had planned to make.

Since it's my job to put Mateo to bed every night (Mateo thinks when his daddy is doing it, it's all fun and games, and when I do it, I get him down without a fuss), so that makes me less inclined to want to cook some nights.

And so, yes, we had pizza.

I told myself that Thursday was my bad day so it was okay that I ate pizza. But then, we had the leftovers Friday night. And then Saturday? I was really tired and in a slight funk and by the time it was Mateo's bedtime, my husband sensed I didn't want to cook. Oh yeah, he also started the day off badly by bringing home huge apple fritters (and I do love my apple fritters), so I told him, no, I did not want to cook. We had Jack in the Box.

Come Sunday, though, I was well-rested and feeling motivated again! I made those portobello philly cheese "steak" sandwiches (which were darn good, by the way, although I adapted the recipe I found so it would feed two life-sized human adults and not elfs, which was what you'd get if you followed the recipe verbatim), I didn't eat dessert, I didn't count although didn't really overdo it on the eating, and so begins a new week.

I do did go walking on Friday night, though.

I doubt I'll lose any weight this week. Maybe I should just go buy a frozen pizzas for the remainder of the week. Save some money that way too.

Fatty Weight Update

2008-08-21T05:07:00.000-07:00

I'm in denial and think the scale is broken. 200.8 lbs AGAIN???!!! Yes, it's true, nothing gained, nothing lost, just a lot of hunger in between. I feel better, though. There's something.

Mid-week update.

2008-08-20T07:19:00.000-07:00

I'm actually no longer having hours of starving. I have gone to bed Monday and Tuesday without a treat (which is killing my husband because he wants a treat, but if I'm not having one, then he just eats fruit, which is better for him anyway). I've counted everything I've been eating, and so far, manged to hit my calorie goal or gone over just a tad.

After getting about 4 hours of interrupted sleep Monday night, my husband told me since I was tired to not worry about dinner and he'd buy sandwiches. I said no. I'm cooking. Because I know what'll happen if I eat a sandwich (I'll eat chips and mayo on my sandwich and cheese and all the bread surrounding the sandwich, and it's just downhill from there) and there was no reason to spend 12 bucks on food when we have a fridge and cupboard full of food.

While giving Mateo his bath last night, I realized I never put the pork in the oven, and that it takes a good 15 minutes to heat up the oven, and then another 45 minutes for the pork...and I almost called my husband and told him to go ahead with the sandwich plan because dinner was going to be too late and my tired brain can't handle all this responsibility. And even though I really wanted to do that because it is so much easier to have someone else make your food and your husband bring it to you, I told myself NO and to just turn on the oven after I dried off Mateo and got him in his PJs. And that's what I did.

Dinner was way late, though.

I'm just hoping tomorrow's weigh-in shows at least one tiny pound lost.

I think I may just stick to it this go around.

I survived the weekend.

2008-08-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

So I managed to not do what I normally do each weekend: eat like a pig.

Saturday was my "bad" day because we took a little family trip to Monterey Bay Aquarium and I knew there was no way I was going to want to cook after we got home (plus I knew we'd be eating something there...most likely unhealthy). We started off the day with donuts (my husband bought them....), then moved on to pizza in Monterey, and ended with a nice, big, fat, sour cream and guacamole-filled veggie burrito.

Surprisingly, I couldn't finish my burrito. Nor did I really want to. I was given special permission from my husband to eat it the next day, a diet day, in lieu of just throwing it away. I think it's time I start ordering my food the way my husband likes it so he can eat the leftovers.

Sunday, since I was given said permission to eat the burrito, I decided not to count my calories, although I was never exactly hungry and I didn't eat much. For breakfast I had four tiny muffin tops I heated up for Mateo but he was more interested in eating blueberries (he's turning into a fruitatarian), for lunch the other half of my burrito, and for dinner chicken, peppers and diced tomatoes with some corn tortillas. Dessert was sugar-free ice cream (90 calories!).

So I think I managed to manage my weekend well. I'm back to counting today. I'm hoping for the best for the Thursday weigh-in.

What would YOU say?

2008-08-15T21:11:00.000-07:00

Today was another very hungry day. I had to eat something as soon as I got home since I was going to be in charge of Mateo while my husband went to the gym. My brain was fuzzy, my stomach was hungry.

So I ate some fake chicken nuggets (I know what you're going to say, you peeps out there, but I hardly eat soy product of any kind anymore). And they were darn tasty.

I declared my hunger fifty times and then some, to which my husband said, "You don't have to wait for me...."

"I'm so not waiting for you to come home! I'm eating dinner when Mateo goes to bed!!"

I usually do wait for him. But then, that's when I wasn't dieting and was eating snacks up the wazoo while he was off working out.

How would you answer? Don't anger the fat, hungry, fuzzy-headed girl.

Dieting sucks.

2008-08-15T05:21:00.000-07:00

I was so hungry yesterday. I drank a lot of water, ate a lot of carrots, and cheated just a smidge during Mateo's dinnertime (I was HUNGRY). But I survived the day.

I also found another free diet site that I'm not 100% convinced on because it seems I would have to add a lot of the foods I eat vs. using The Daily Plate that always seems to have everything already in their database: Calorie Count Plus.

I plugged in my stats, and it told me I was severely obese (true), I should be 131 (also true but never going to happen), and that if I eat 1500 calories a day for the next year and some months, I'll be 131! If only it was that easy.

One good thing about this site vs. The Daily Plate is that it grades recipes and foods based on nutrient, calories and fat. So while something my seem like a good thing to eat, it might not be. I plugged in some food items, and realized even though I'm eating the portion size, the food itself is garbage. Deep down I know that, but when you're starving, five Keebler low fat Club crackers at 70 calories is quite the steal (but got a D or an F for its grade).

CCP (Calorie Count Plus) did have the sloppy joes recipe I made for dinner (linked on the side panel - these joes are GOOD), which surprised me, and it got an A-. So that made me feel good.

I might use both sites for a bit to figure out which one I like better. Visually I like CCP, but for database items, I like The Daily Plate. CCP says I can eat more calories than The Daily Plate. And CCP has more recipes, but then I don't think I ever looked for recipes on The Daily Plate.

Anyway, check out CCP and see if it's something that will work for you.

Fatty Weight Update

2008-08-14T05:06:00.000-07:00

I'm so sad to declare I weigh 200.8 lbs. That's not good, not good at all. I've passed my average weight of 198, and that's not good!!! (Not that I want to be an average weight of 198, mind you. I'd much rather be an average of 140.)

On a more positive note, we went walking last night, I got out of breath trying to walk and tell my husband stories and Mateo kept turning around and looked at me like, "are you going to pass out, Momma?"

So The Daily Plate starts again. And so does my one "free" day - Friday. This week I might switch it to Saturday because of our weekend plans.

Let the games begin.

Me as linebacker in candy store.

2008-08-13T10:40:00.001-07:00

That day I decided I needed to lose weight because I'm just totally out of control and huge and look like the stay-puff marshmallow man, we received pictures from a friend's wedding we attended last weekend.

I was hesitant in opening the picture attachments because I know I look like a huge fatty mcgoo, but then, at the same time, I like to look at pictures, even if I'm in them.

I opened the first attachment to find the picture I was fearing the most; the one of me, the groom, bride and my hubby.

I had tried to stand next to my hubby, but I was told to go stand next to the groom, who then threw his arm over my shoulders like I was a college buddy.

And below is the result, albeit very Photoshopped (and poorly at that) to remove the innocent and to replace the background with candy. Some of my hair and shoulder and arm are missing due to a Photoshop accident.

I was so humored by this picture because the first thing I thought when I saw it was that I look like a linebacker. And, well, it's given me much more inspiration to lose the 20 lbs before year end, and then hopefully continue my fun weight loss journey. And lose some of the boobs, as I feel, based on this picture, I'm one big boob.

My husband and I plan to walk Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights, permitting, and then on the weekends. When I went grocery shopping this week, I refrained from buying the same boxes of snacks I was buying, which were first meant for Mateo, but then I just ate them. Instead, I loaded up on fruits and veggies and only items needed for making our dinners, which are pretty healthy and don't include too many starches, my main diety enemy.

I told my husband (again) to stop giving in to me and buying crap and pastries and whatnot. I'll be weighing in tomorrow, as I was before, and start The Daily Plate back up again.

In the meantime, just call me Fatty McGoo Butkus.

Guess what this fatty did today.

2008-08-11T20:50:00.000-07:00

After feeding the wean, and after my husband got home, we all went on a walk around the neighborhood. It was a good 30 to 40 minute walk. It also totally pooped out Mateo even though all he did was sit in his car while one of us pushed him.

For dinner tonight, we had teriyaki rice (soooo good), chicken breast with Korean hot and spicy BBQ sauce, and zucchini a la my husband.

And...no dessert.

How perfect are these?

2008-08-11T15:35:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking about portion sizes this morning. I always remember being told to eat the size of a deck of cards when eating most meats.

Well, with PortionPals, it would be so much easier (and probably a tad shocking) to portion out your food!

And when you get mad at yourself for overeating (again), you can simply throw a disc across the room like you would a frisbee! Instant exercise!

Mid-year resolution.

2008-08-11T10:00:00.000-07:00

This post straddles a post on my other blog. Since this one is health-related, specifically weight, it goes here more than over there.

Okay, I've said it before, and I'm not even going to say I won't say it again (Halloween is coming up, so is Thanksgiving and Xmas and New Years, my birthday, Mateo's birthday, Valentine's Day, St. Patty's day...see, you just can't get away from any eating occasion), but I vow to lose at least 20 lbs by the end of 2008.

That's not too much to ask? Right?

I've been a non-stop eating machine. I've been soul searching to figure out why I keep doing this to myself. Boredom? No. Depression? No. Like food? YES. Bingo! Food gooood.

Well, I'm sure it's more than that.

A long time ago I lost about 40 or so pounds. I was a hefty 180. I'm only 5' 4" tall, so that's not good. My husband and I went on vacation, and he took some pictures of me, and after I looked at them, I was pretty much disgusted with myself. I jokingly said I was going to put one picture of me on the refrigerator as a reminder of how I don't want to look. Sort of like how I did with this blog, way in the beginning, in February.

I went on Weight Watchers online, lost the 40 lbs, which took a good year to do, kept the weight off until the year I got pregnant with Mateo, when I gained about 20 lbs. Once I got pregnant, I gained about 50 or 60 lbs, going way over 200 lbs in total.

I know where I got the determination to lose weight then; it wasn't merely because I wasn't happy with myself, but I was ornery as all get out. I worked in an environment where food seemed to be the only method of social interactivity.

I was hired outside of college, and up until then, my only work experience was with retail positions, where no one really cared if you ate or not. When I moved into a corporate environment, filled with middle-aged women who were mothers as well, and food was constantly forced upon me.

These women were from a different culture than my own, and my culture (what little I feel I have) doesn't revolve so much around eating as a way of keeping the family together and socializing; when we eat, we eat to EAT. We eat to fill ourselves with tasty, high calorie, high fat foods and then regret all the food we ate, but then go for seconds or eat the same amount the next day. Their culture is all about eating to be with other people and not really the food itself, although who doesn't love a good pork bun?

Since I was young and didn't feel part of the team and certainly didn't want to rock any boats, I would participate in the food events, like a good little girl, even though I knew it probably wasn't the best idea. And I gained a lot of weight. And I think most people secretly love it when you're a Fatty McGoo. Because if you're skinny or refuse the food, then you're not like the others and that's just plain BAD.

When I decided to go on Weight Watchers, I began turning down all offers of food. I was questioned about it every single time. And every single time I would tell them why - I was on Weight Watchers, I was trying to lose weight, etc.. And every single time I was told eating some of the food wouldn't hurt, I didn't need to lose weight, I was fine the way I was, and then, when that didn't work, I got guilt trips put upon me because it was assumed I was just one rude and nasty gal.

And deep down, I think I am. I am rude and nasty! But it just took a while for it to come out. And when I become determined about something, there is no stopping me.

And that's the story of how I lost weight.

Then I changed jobs and stopped being so ornery and gained some weight back.

I have a closet full of size 8 and 10 pants, size medium and large shirts, and a lot of cute shoes - all I can't wear and I'm not sure I ever will again. I also have a closet full of cute size 12 clothes I purchased right before I got pregnant because of my weight gain. I soon moved out of those when I got pregnant and became a starving, rabid, eat everything in sight pregnant chick (who LOVED her chicken sandwiches and french fries, oh my).

Sadly, I still wear some maternity wear - mostly while I'm just at home and slobbing around, but I tell you, the elastic waist band is lovely when you're feeling bloated and disgusting.

This past week has been a bad one for me. I've done way too much snacking and not enough thinking about what I'm putting in my mouth. And I just don't feel good at all. I feel constantly bloated and gassy and just gross and uncomfortable.

So why haven't I done it yet ('it' being losing some weight)? I don't know. I really don't. Because I don't like wearing XX Large shirts, size 16 pants (that are, sadly, becoming tighter on me), and even sometimes 1X shirts (aren't those really XXL shirts?). I don't like feeling uncomfortable about my body. I don't like feeling flappy and loosey goosey and Fatty McGooish.

It's time to do something about it. Twenty pounds by December 31st isn't too much at ask, right?

Here comes Monday's excuses...

2008-08-04T12:18:00.000-07:00

My child has been ill. I've been home with him. Trying to get him to eat. And then eating what he's not eating. Cause that's how I roll.

Cheese sandwich, anyone?

My good intentions gone awry again.

2008-07-30T12:01:00.000-07:00

I planned this tasty glazed chicken thigh with a quinoa salad for last night's dinner. I also made Mateo's his weekly meal of turkey, pasta, sauce and cheese (but all natural this time, so I felt much better about feeding it to him).

I made Mateo's meal before I picked him up from daycare, and when he was eating, I got the chicken thighs cooking. Since the recipe was for a BBQ, I just guessed at the oven temperature and the cooking time.

After Mateo finished eating, we sat down to watch some TV while I waited for the chicken to cook. When it was done, I gave Mateo his bath. That's when our night time routine took a turn for the worse and he had a massive flip out, refusing his nightly milk and any sort of comfort. He's teething, so I figured he was just in pain from that, gave him some tylenol and finally got him to sleep.

Because that situation was so harrowing, I decided I was way too tired to make the quinoa salad. Instead I heated up some frozen potatoes I bought that day, relatively healthy, filling and tasty. When those were done, I served my husband and I (I'm so 1950's when I feel like it). We sat down to eat my tasty meal and watch Paranormal State.

I cut into my piece of chicken and it was pretty much raw inside. My husband cut into his, his was raw as well. Instead of heating up the oven again and cooking them some more, I nuked them in the microwave, which then freaked me out because the texture felt too weird for me, and it was taking many minutes in the microwave to cook the darn things, so I said, "Taco Bell, anyone?"

My husband didn't respond to that but said, "I'd rather have it cooked all the way than risk it being raw."

I said, "I don't want turkey jerky chicken."

He said, "Well, what are you going to do?"

I said, "What are YOU going to do?"

And then I said, "I'll just eat the potatoes."

So, for once, we didn't go to the immediate plan two, which would have been eating Taco Bell, and he ate his chicken and potatoes and I ate potatoes, and that was that.

I actually managed to stick to my diet for one full day! Hooray for me!

So Tuesday is a new day.

2008-07-29T05:04:00.000-07:00

Now that the "entertaining" is over, which included two large pizzas, beer, chips, guacamole a la Rick Bayless (but made by me) and PIE (I'm a HUGE sucker for pie unless it's pecan, banana or way too rich and sugary), I can now begin my weight-loss escapade. Again.

I can't seriously expect myself not to eat the entertaining leftovers (minus the beer) the past two days? And my husband was late coming home from work last night, so we had Togo's instead of a wife-cooked meal, but mostly because my co-worker went and got a very tasty smelling tuna melt for lunch and it was making me crave tuna like no body's business.

I told my husband yesterday (although I'm starting to realize, as with verbal tellings, my husband is now not reading my IM tellings and acting like he is) that today is a new day where we begin eating well - for the sake of Mateo and ourselves.

He replied "good."

I sent him a link to the kids' activities planned for the Art & Wine Festival in our neighboring city, and he said, "that looks cool." I know he didn't read the list because on Saturday and Sunday martial arts are being featured. I called him on that when I got home.

I digress....

Why does it seem that whenever I try to get on the ball, some monkey throws a wrench into my plans? Like having people over, a wedding that I wanted to lose a least 5 lbs for (and haven't), work things, holidays, etc. How did I manage to do this years ago when I lost about 40 lbs? Why does it seem impossible for me to turn down food when presented to me, or only eat part of it and throw it away (gasp!)?

I've yet to figure these things out, but they are definitely my downfall. That and eating on the run too much or snacking on Mateo's snack foods.

And so begins another week....

In Defense of Food

2008-07-24T16:51:00.000-07:00

Last month I wrote about a podcast I listened to that featured the author of In Defense of Food. Well, my husband bought the book for me at his department's White Elephant sale for a buck!

Now I get to read about how what I'm feeding Mateo and myself is jacking up our bodies. What fun. I was going to make him a very weird but supposedly kid-friendly tatortot casserole, but after showing the recipe to my husband and him responding, "that's HILARIOUS!" and then "it's so American!" and then telling me he bought the book, I think I'm going to figure something else out to feed him next week. Since his molars are all pretty much in, he can eat more things that require more chewing.

Let the guilt begin. Darn the candy gram, the pasta and the weird mocha java meringuey cake!!!

Next week is a new week (we're entertaining this weekend, so I'm not going to even go there)!

Let me tell you how I ended up with pasta and cake in my belly.

2008-07-23T17:53:00.000-07:00

As previously mentioned, my work tends to have a lot of leftover foods hanging around for various reasons, the most common being from business meetings. This week a week-long training thing is going on, and it has something to do with our group but not really, so therefor, by default, it's held in our building. Part of the week-long fun is lunch being brought in each day.

Today our admin came back from lunch, walked over to me (this is the same one that predicted the future by announcing I wasn't going to lose any weight, and, well, I think he's probably correct when it comes right down to it) and asked if I had eaten lunch already.

I looked at him, full well knowing what he was going to say, and tried to head him off by saying nodding yes.

"Oh, that's too bad. There is a TON of YUMMY food leftover in there. They HARDLY touched a THING!"

"Oh," I said.

He was already heading to my boss's office to tell her. She decided to check out the leftover food, and sadly, this was all took for me to jump up to check out the food too. Willpower, I have NONE.

The group pretty much left everything except for the salad and salad dressing. Why? Because whoever ordered the food decided to order the two creamiest, most fattening pasta dishes on this fine earth. I don't even know what they were exactly, but both had chicken and cream and more cream and some mushrooms and cream and weird croutons and cream.

Yes, even though I ate lunch (Udon noodle bowl, yogurt and a banana), I partook. Big time. Fatty McGoo style. Holler!

As I watched my tree trunk arm reach down and scoop some of the creamy noodles and chicken bits, my brain was telling myself, "Psst...you ate lunch. You're not doing your butt, belly, tree trunk arms and chubby knees a lick of good. Put. The. Spoon. Down. FATTY."

I gently willed my brain to shut up and announced to the room, "Next week I'm going to start my diet. I AM!"

My boss said, "And I'll read all about it." She said this dryly. And like she didn't believe me. Can you believe that?

So yes, that's how a good portion of the creamiest, tastiest pasta ended up in my belly.

How did the cake get in there? Almost every month my husband's department holds a birthday cake thing for the people who have birthdays that month. And when they have cake, I get cake by default. Cause I'm just like one of them. But not. And it certainly helps that I sit really close to the conference they always hold the event in and that I'm friends with their admin*.

Today was cake day, and I was presented with my piece of mocha java something or other moussey cake. With, get this, meringue on top. But it tasted more like marshmallow to me. Marshmallowy meringue. It was simply heaven.

And that's how, my dear readers, pasta and cake ended up in my belly.

It's the damn candy gram's fault, you know. I had such good intentions. Then it showed up in the interdepartmental mail, and well, candy grams are a diety downfall and just set a bad precedent for the week.

*Note: If you work where there is an admin, by all means make them hate you. That way they'll never offer you food or constantly try to feed you. It's too late for me, but you can save yourself. Heed my words.

Who the heck went and invented the candy gram and why was one sent to me?

2008-07-21T19:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, I ate all the candy in my candy gram, except for the Whoppers, which I don't particularly like.

I sorta feel like I'm in high school again with the whole candy gram thing.

Stay away, candy gram, stay away.

Yeah, yeah...

2008-07-20T19:24:00.001-07:00

I know, I haven't been counting on The Daily Plate nor have I been particularly good. Not sure what's up with me besides all my meals from last week going down the tubes. I did make a very tasty Chicken Tortilla soup for dinner tonight and tomorrow night. And a little weird lasagna-esque meal for Mateo to eat this week.

The meal I planned for him was so bizarre I was sure he would like it, plus many moms said it was one of the few meals their kids would eat.

So picture this: Saute ground meat (I used turkey) until browned. Then toss in some pasta sauce - whatever you like, I picked regular old plain marinara. Simmer for 10 minutes. While you're doing all this, cook up some Mac N' Cheese. I picked Kraft's spiderman-shaped pasta version of mac n' cheese because it was the cheapest. My kid certainly doesn't care what the shape of his food is, which makes life easy. When both parts of this fabulous meal are done, slop in half the meat sauce into a casserole dish, then top with half the mac n' cheese, then a whole mess of shredded cheese, then meat sauce, then mac n' cheese, then more shredded cheese. Cook in the oven at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Viola! Bizarre, mutant lasagna!

Did he like it? He ate some, but not much. He wasn't really in the mood to eat, so I'm not taking too much offense to my fabulous kid's meal. I tasted a bit of it, and the first thing I thought was if any kid rejected this, it would have to be solely due to being raised super healthy from day one and being able to make a clear decision for him/herself.

We'll see how much of a hit it is tomorrow.

Bagels are evil.

2008-07-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

I knew there would be bagels today at work. But why did I have to eat two and with cream cheese? What the heck is wrong with me?

This means no lunch for me. Not that I'm even slightly hungry.

I think it was all the coffee I drank this morning. It's gone and messed up my mind. Not to mention making my heart all fluttery.

On another note, last night I made a very tasty non-mayo potato salad to go with our portobello mushroom burgers for dinner. I tried the potato salad on Mateo, but he wasn't having it. He wasn't have that or the french cut green beans I tried on him (used to be my favorite as a kid).

For the potato salad, I didn't use capers or olives as I'm not fond of them. I also didn't put cayenne pepper in it because I can't ever remember if it's hot or not, and I didn't want to kill my kid's mouth. I didn't use as much lemon juice either, but that's because I only bought one lemon, like a dork. I think with no, little or the right amount of lemon, the recipe is still really good.

For the burgers, I didn't follow the recipe either. I excluded the olives, jarred red bell pepper (merely because I couldn't order it online from Safeway, otherwise I would have), used regular hamburger buns and didn't do the garlic / salt / olive oil schmear on the mushrooms. Regardless, it still was darn tasty. I'm always down for a portobello mushroom burger.

I've come to a realization.

2008-07-14T07:03:00.001-07:00

I just can't diet on the weekends. It's nearly impossible. I'd like to blame my child and my husband and even the cats, but really, it's me. And maybe if I come to terms with that, it'll do me some good. As in, I won't keep trying to diet and doing so unsuccessfully, weekend after weekend after weekend, and then feeling bad about it.

It's not like I try to be bad or I go crazy and snarf down everything in sight, but since I'm up really early, and up really early with my child, and since my child seems to be ravenous from the moment he wakes up until late morning, there's always food around.

This all means I didn't count calories this weekend, and I won't really be today because my day is going to be a bit out of whack (and I ate a low fat Strawberry Creme coffee cake from Starbucks this morning because I am going out to lunch, so I thought I might as well start off on a bad foot since I probably will be bad at lunch).

That's my story. What's yours?

Suprisingly good meatloaf.

2008-07-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

I made a darn tasty meatloaf last night. I'm not one for ground meat of any kind, so I'm always hesitant when I do make a meatloaf. I tend to stick to the same recipe for mini meatloaves, which has a very tasty sauce topping them as they cook, but I decided to try the Calypso Meatloaf.

While topping your meatloaf with crushed pineapple might sound odd, you really can't tell there is any pineapple at all - it merely adds a tangy sweetness to the topping.

The real test of the meatloaf's tastiness was if Mateo would eat it. He tends to have an odd palate, preferring sweet things (baby crack aka whipped topping) and liking tastes I would never think he would (pesto sauce, spicy thin pizza from Trader Joe's). I gave him a little bit, broken up into small pieces, and he dug right in. Another food item I can add to my list!

Luckily I and my husband liked it just as well, so it's going on the top of the list for our meals. If you use lean ground turkey, I really don't think the fat content is 16 grams. At least that's what I told myself.

Fatty weight update.

2008-07-10T05:18:00.001-07:00

I'm actually surprised. I thought I was well over 200. But nope. I'm 197.6 lbs. Good place to start, pretty much the same place I've been forever.

Why does careful planning always go awry?

2008-07-09T07:42:00.000-07:00

I planned our meals carefully this week because I knew I was going to be counting them pesky calories again.

So last night was a Weight Watcher pork choppy thing with a side of black bean and corn salad (you really can't go wrong with a black bean salad, and if you do, then I'm sorry, something is really wrong with you).

Since my husband didn't see my request for pork loin chops on the grocery list I compiled on Sunday, he never bought any. I had to go to Foodmaxx, a store I'm usually fearful of purchasing meat from, a day later to buy the chops. They looked okay. Didn't have a weird smell. Didn't have weird blue iridescent streaks on the meat surface. So I bought them and hoped for the best.

When I was cooking them last night, I noticed a weird gamy smell waifing from them. They were being cooked in oil spray, no seasoning, so I couldn't blame some odd spice concoction on the smell. It wasn't necessarily a rotten meat smell, but it wasn't a good smell. And since I go through life basing my decisions on smells, I was fairly certain I wasn't going to like the meat.

After cooking the chops for 1 minute on each side, I then poured salsa and lime juice all over the chops to finish cooking. I was hoping this step would help eliminate the weird funky smell. It had too. Right? It's salsa! Salsa makes everything taste better. And has little calories.

Once everything was finished, my husband and I sat down at our respective TV trays (yes, we're pathetic and don't eat that the kitchen table - Mateo is asleep at this point so we're not ruining our reps in his eyes - yet). I cut into the meat, was pleased to find it not undercooked although a bit sad that it was so tough, and put a piece into my mouth.

"Oh no. I can't eat this," I said, barely getting the meat down my throat.

My husband hates when I do this. Because even if he thinks the food is edible, me reacting this way usually causes me to want to toss his cookies. My reaction some how turns his normal "mmmm...this is good food!" reaction to fear and disgust.

"Why?" he asked me. He still hadn't tried it.

"Well, when I was cooking it, it smelled funny. And it tastes just like it smelled. I can't eat it."

He tentatively ate a piece.

"It does taste weird," he said.

"Why does it taste that way?" he asked me.

One of those little questions I simply had no answer for. The meat is old? It was left out for days? It's not really pork but some dog chops? (It didn't sorta smell like dog.) So I just ignored him.

"Why does it?" he asked again.

"I don't know! I left it out for days? Come on, it's from Foodmaxx," I said.

I looked over at my husband, who was sitting rather sadly on the other side of the couch, staring at his doggy-smelling chop.

"What?!" I said. Defensively. Irrationally. I really really hate it when I screw dinners up.

"I think you should go make us some quesadillas," I said.

So that's how my carefully planned diety meal turned into consuming two, albeit small, cheese quesadillas. The pork chops were supposed to be leftovers for tonight, so now we're having scrambled eggs.

And yes, I counted my cheesy meal.

Wow. A month. Has. Gone. By. Like. That.

2008-07-08T07:39:00.000-07:00

Fatty is back.

Sick of feeling gassy and bloated all the time, looking pregnant and wearing tight size 16's, I'm back on the wagon. I was going to start yesterday, but since I got little sleep, it was super hot, and I was just not in the mood to cook, we had Togo's for dinner. I, of course, had to get my favorite sandwich, tuna, even though I could have gotten a simple turkey with veggies and mustard.

And my husband brought home a brownie from the Team Appreciation thing at work, and of course I had to eat that. I was smart though, I gave him half, even though I wanted the whole thing.

I'll weigh in on Thursday, per the norm, but I am counting calories again on The Daily Plate. Let the games begin.

Fruit and farmer's market.

2008-06-08T15:36:00.000-07:00

We've gotten in the habit of eating dessert each and every night at some point years back. Usually it's non-fat yogurt or low fat ice cream or cereal or animal cookies - something quick and easily, um, "counted" while on a diet.

Friday night we did something we haven't done in a long, long time. We had FRUIT, yes, that's correct, FRUIT for dessert. We had grapes, and I had my grapes with some mango, and my husband was supposed to have mango too, but he dropped his mango when trying to get it into the bowl. Of course this was the mango's fault. Or perhaps the bowl's fault. But definitely not his fault.

Today we went to the farmer's market at the Newpark Mall and bought some really good fruit. We've all enjoyed nectarines and strawberries, and tonight I'm making strawberry shortcake ala Mom (dessert cup, non-fat cool whip and splenda-upped strawberries).

We also got most of the produce I need for the week's meals. We're going to attempt to make this a weekly thing, but you know how that goes.

Mateo loves nectarines. Strawberries are a bit iffy because they're tart and sweet, and tart things make his face pucker up.

Wondering where Fatty is, aren't you?

2008-06-06T12:19:00.001-07:00

I'm still here, still fat, still sorta trying, but not really. Last weigh-in was for 199 lbs. I weighed myself while holding a package I was going to mail that day, and so when I weighed myself without it (I was trying to figure out its weight since I loaned out my package scale), I was really hoping the package weighed 1 lb so I could get right back to my initial 198 I've been holding onto for well over a year now.

No such luck.

I watched a podcast last week about food and how ever since the US decided to let corporations feed us, we eat nothing but crap (not too surprising, I know). The author of In Defense of Food, Michael Pollan, was featured on the podcast, and he said something that really stuck in my head: Don't eat anything your great grandmother wouldn't recognize. Basically, anything that's totally chemicalized, funky-colored, and in a tube for convenience.

He went on to say foods like Cheetos (my favorite), snickers (my favorite), um....goldfish crackers (every one's favorite, especially the rainbow colored ones) are food-like substances. And the real food is just that, real food. You know, like fruits and veggies and chicken freshly killed in your backyard? Those things? Real food.

It made me rather sad because I've resorted to a lot more boxed snack items for Mateo, although he does get plenty of fruits, veggies and "colored" yogurt (which makes it a food-like substance) so I'm not fully worried about it. I would like him to eat fresh fruits and veggies more, but between his lack of molars and his pickiness, I don't see it happening anytime soon.

So how does that relate to me and me being and remaining a Fatty McGoo? Well, with more snack-like items around, which are soooo much easier to dip into when I'm hungry, I'm not really eating as well as I should even though I buy enough fruit and veggies for all of us to eat.

However, after thinking more and more about the podcast, I'm getting more determined to try to eat healthier. "Getting more determined" I said. I'm not making any promises here. I think I've done that too much and let myself down enough.

And on today's menu....

2008-05-30T12:23:00.000-07:00

I had a plate from another work function plus some tasty cake.

Maybe I should change the title to Fatty McGoo: Baby Weight Ain't Leaving Any Time Soon.

This has been a very bad week.

2008-05-30T05:25:00.001-07:00

I haven't weighed myself.

I've eaten a super size Snickers bar, half a turkey sandwich w/mayo (leftovers from a meeting) and a slice of quiche (leftovers as well). I've eaten tons of snack foods at home.

I just haven't had the gumption to follow the diet this week.

How befitting it this?

2008-05-23T04:56:00.000-07:00

Who gets picked to create a flyer to advertise a Weight Watchers work thing?

Yes, that's right, ME.

One thing I do know.

2008-05-22T06:17:00.000-07:00

My head is WAY too small for me being this fat. When I get on my other lap top (yes, I'm so fancy, I have many - wait. Please don't find out where I live and rob me), I'll post a picture from when I was pregnant but thinner vs. when I was not pregnant and FAT (Mateo is in the picture too - and he's way cuter than me!).

Scratching Head...

2008-05-22T05:45:00.000-07:00

Weight update, and I'm so sad to admit it: 200.2 lbs.

And no, I haven't been tracking, and yes, I've been eating a ton of "light" ice cream. I've also eaten turkey burgers two nights in a row, and ate the whole burger, two nights in a row, and they were big, fat tasty burgers, two nights in a row, with a side of tator tots, two nights in a row, lots and lots of tasty tator tots, two nights in a row, and the surprising things is that I usually don't eat a full turkey burger because eventually the meat and texture get to me, but for some reason I ate both burgers, both nights, along with a ton of tasty tots.

There's this thing I need to learn. And it's called portion control.

Hello, portion control, my name is Fatty McGoo, and I'm feeling quite sad that I'm so fat. Will you enter my life as my new bestest pal? By the way, meet my husband, Enabler*, and tell him if I can't follow you and your portion control rules, then he's got to step up to the plate and slap me around a bit.

Tonight we're having pre-marinated turkey breast with potatoes (not tasty tots, no, no, no - real non-processed potatoes from the GROUND) and onions, roasted to perfection.

*Last night Enabler walks in with a container of "light" Rocky Road ice cream (my FAVORITE), and says, "Is this too much for you?"

I look, and it was a ton of ice cream, and since my pal portion control wasn't around (I think he went down early for a nice snooze), I said, "well, it is a lot, but if you give it to me, I will eat it."

So he gave it to me. And so I ate it. All of it.

My dog ate my homework?

2008-05-19T08:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I'm not so good at this dieting thing. It's a heck of a lot easier to do when everything in my life is going smoothly, but with Mateo's eye exploding and then getting "sick" the next week (really just asthma-related), it's hard to grocery shop, cook and eat planned meals.

So here are my last two weigh-ins:

198.6
199.8

The top one was last week. So while I went up in weight, I went back down a smidge.

A new food-related occurrence in my life: My husband has taken it upon himself to cook on the weekends. No, no, I'm not complaining. I like it when he cooks cause I DON'T HAVE TO! I'm no dummy and know when I have a good thing going.

However, it does make it harder to count calories. This past weekend he made veggie enchiladas, which were probably okay on their own, but with tortilla chips (my nemesis in the food world) and probably a half serving more than I should have eaten, it all adds up.

I also wasn't feel well this past weekend, so when that happens, I tend to just shut down mentally (I had a slight migraine headache for two days), and don't put up much of a fight. So when my husband was worried I didn't like his enchiladas, I had a half serving more to prove I did. Yesterday, when we were having for dinner again, I didn't have another serving, but then he said there was enough for lunch! So I nodded okay. Now I have veggie enchiladas and beans for lunch.

(Side note: How come when he cooks, it's okay to eat the same thing three days in a row, regardless of time of day, but when I cook, it's not? Does that mean my cooking isn't good?)

This weekend he's going to buy a rotisserie chicken and make couscous.

I'm trying my hardest to get back on track. I keep looking at pictures of myself and seeing the fat web connecting from my neck to my chin, and how huge my upper body is, and I just want it all gone. Poof! Gone. A lot easier said than done.

However, my diet coach is doing way better than I am and has almost lost 10 lbs! Go diet coach, go! You are the wind beneath my wings.

Call it what you will....

2008-05-07T06:17:00.000-07:00

But I again "lapsed" in my diety diet.

Mateo, my dear little sniggle snuggle booger boy, had a little "incident" this week, i.e. I gave him peanut butter on a graham cracker, he didn't like the sticky feeling of said peanut butter on graham cracker, and I guess, although I can't say for sure, he may have rubbed some of the peanut butter in his eye before I washed his hands off, which then cause his left eye and some of his cheek area to explode.

Because of this, Monday's diety diet day went to hell in a hand basket (and I was doing soooo good). Then yesterday, I didn't eat until about noon, and no, I didn't go nuts, but after I had my lovely frozen meal and some chips, I spent the remainder of the day snacking on such things as: Toddler puffs, cheese bits, hash browns, canned fruit, banana and cereal bar (sounds faintly like toddler food, doesn't it?). Come dinner time, I decided it was okay to have two helpings of my favorite sloppy joes, along with more chips and salsa. Then a nice big bowl of ice cream ("light" ice cream, mind you).

Today I am back to following my diety diet, although at this rate, what's the point. Never mind that bad attitude. I shall persevere even if it takes me 10 years to lose 10 lbs!

You know your body has had enough...

2008-05-05T07:53:00.000-07:00

When you're just rotten inside. So I'm back on the wagon because I just feel horrible inside and my pants feel too tight.

I've made myself a nice salad to go with my minestrone soup (yes, inputted on Daily Plate already, diet coach). I need a nice scrubbing out.

Maybe for poops and giggles I will weigh myself.

2008-05-01T07:38:00.000-07:00

I guess I should. But I just ate a bowl of cereal, had a donut earlier this morning, and tons of coffee. I'll give all that a couple of hours to dissolve and move further into my system.

Stay tuned.

Taking a pass.

2008-05-01T07:36:00.001-07:00

Even though it's not allowed, I am. This weekend went whackado because of Mateo getting sick? Having allergies? Not breathing well at all? And I didn't get much sleep, and due to that, food found itself in my mouth, and then it just got worse and worse, and then my nemesis, the tortilla chip, entered the house, and I had to show it who was boss and sat and ate chip after chip after chip, and carnitas tacos and beans and cheese and the husband seems to want to shove donut holes down Mateo's throat, so he's been bringing home donuts more and more, and I, being a donut-loving fool, eat them without thinking, and tomorrow we all have the day off and we'll probably eat out and then Saturday we're going to a birthday party, and I'm sure I'll be stuffing cake down my throat, and well, yeah.

Plus that stupid cold I had weeks ago seemed to never fully go away and is now peeping it's phlegmy head out again and making me tired and coughy and just not wanting to eat healthy.

Basically I'm lacking motivation, and while you'd think looking in the mirror would be motivation enough to stick to my calorie counting diet, it's not right now.

I have promised myself that Saturday, if I can, I will start again, and if not, definitely Sunday. Because a nice slice of birthday cakes just sounds soooo good right now.

Fatty Weight Update

2008-04-24T08:21:00.000-07:00

Wow, I lost....a whole....ounce! Yes, I'm 197.8.

Now I'm really glad I didn't give in to my massive craving for french fries last night. Because those fries would have went with a nice, tasty chicken sandwich. Instead I had a weirdo salad made with leftover chicken that was sitting in tomato sauce for a few days.

Fatty Weight Update

2008-04-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

197.9 lbs.

I've been sick!!!!

That's my excuse. I haven't counted my calories for some time, it seems. I'm starting to feel better today, and was going to get back on the wagon, but then my husband came home with a donut to turn my "frown upside down."

Seems being extremely busy at work + being really sick + being really tired + doing the same amount of everything (except keeping tidy - if anything's going to go, it's that, for sure) = me losing it. I got our coffee going this morning, and even though, for some strange reason, I thought to myself, "self, the coffee maker is sounding really odd - the water dripping out sounds way too clear," I never went to check it out.

When my husband was leaving for the gym, he asked, "do I need to buy coffee?"

I was in our room, and I answered, "can't you smell it?" Because I could. Smelled nice and coffee-y. MMMMmmmm java in the morning hits the spot! Even with an painful sore throat, thick, yellow phlegm and a cough.

"I thought you saw this," he told me.

"What?"

"You didn't put the pot down."

"I didn't put the pot down?" and for some reason I was thinking he was telling me I didn't put the toilet seat down, which made no sense because I always do, and even if I don't, who cares unless Mateo is wandering around.

I walked toward the kitchen.

"You didn't put the pot down...," he said again.

I, again, said quietly, "....I...didn't...put the pot down." Then I saw it and then I got it. He meant I didn't put the coffee pot in the coffee pot space thingy so that the coffee would actually DRIP into the coffee pot.

Boy howdy, I was not happy.

I mumbled something about how I was going to be spending the next 30 minutes cleaning it up (this is not the first, second, third or even fourth time I've made coffee and this has happened, so I know how long it takes to clean it up) and how stupid I was.

My husband left.

As soon as he locked the door, Mateo woke up screaming.

My husband came back because he forgot something.

I said something about how Mateo woke up, so now I have to clean and take care of him, way earlier than I'd like. And that's okay, cause this is my life now (passive aggressive? YES!).

My husband put his gym bag down.

I told him to go, go, go.

That's why I got the donut. And yes, I ate it, and yes, it did turn my frown upside down (or is that rightside up? Isn't it more correct to say: Turn your smile upside down?) So now I have to count it, I guess. I think I'll be eating some air for lunch.

Sick....again.

2008-04-14T05:07:00.000-07:00

Fatty McGoo (me) got sick again, or the sick I had last week went on a couple day nap and then decided to resurrect itself Saturday night. Sunday I woke up to a massive sore throat, headache, stuffed up head and snot galore.

Why am I telling you all this on my diet blog?

Because that means I jumped the diet ship and didn't track.

I said I'd be honest, and I'm being honest.

Again, I didn't go nuts with the eating, just indulged in a larger bowl of cereal, a few more gold fish than I should have, and a cookie or two after I woke up. My husband kindly took care of dinner, which was a turkey burger with a side of beans. After dinner I promptly went to bed, so no treat for me.

We'll see how this affects me come Thursday.

"Oh honey, you're not going to lose 60 lbs. Good luck with that."

2008-04-11T19:16:00.000-07:00

Remember the guy with the Twizzlers? Today he came over with a tray of regular sized candy and granola bars (Kudos....chocolate covered "health" bars). He offered me a Kudos. I politely declined. He offered me the Kudos again. I again declined, a bit more firmly. He then offered me a mini Snickers (Snickers is my FAVORITE candy bar, by the by), and I said no, thanks, I'm trying to lose weight.

He told me it was a small candy bar, no big deal, etc.. I said AGAIN that I was trying to lose weight, no thanks, go away, leave me alone, take your tray of candy bars and begone!!!! (Okay, I just told him again I was on a diet. I suppose he has a hearing problem, uh, yeah.)

I then made the mistake of saying I was going to lose 60 lbs.

"Oh honey, you're not going to lose 60 pounds. Gooood luck with that," he drooled at me.

Now, normally I would get crazy mad at this point because 1. I already told him fifty times I was on a diet, and 2. it's not really nice to say to someone who wants to lose weight that they aren't going to. At least as much as they'd like.

But I have done it before. Not 60 lbs, but a little over 40, so I'm not discouraged. And so I told him that -- I've done it before, I'll do it again.

I got some more "you diiiiiid? how'd you doooooo that???" questions, so I told him, and I said I'm not trying to be a size 8. Just a size 12. I'm happy with that.

He then told me getting to a size 8 would be really hard.

I said I was a size 8 for some time, then gained some weight, got to size 12, then got pregnant, then ate everything in sight, now I'm overweight and now I'm going to change that.

So I didn't quite kill him, nor did I even get mad, but when I told my friend about the whole thing, she got all crazed and said who does he think he is coming in and telling someone he doesn't know next to Jack down the street about what I can and can't do and blah blah blah, fingering snapping and head wiggling ensued.

Anyway. This is what I deal with at times. And no, I still never took the Kudos or mini candy bar. And he's still alive. All is good with the world.

Fatty Weight Update

2008-04-10T04:54:00.000-07:00

196.4 lbs!

I haven't been 100% good since Saturday. Mateo got sick, I got sick, my schedule got totally thrown off, then my husband got sick and wanted pastries and cookies. Even with all this, I was mindful of what I was eating, and somehow managed to lose weight this week. Just imagine what could have happened if I hadn't of lost my diet track?

Fatty Weight Update

2008-04-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

198 (without pants - with pants, 199 - who knew my pants weighed a pound?)

So maaaaaaaaaaybe my diet coach was correct when she told me I shouldn't switch my bad day to Tuesday this week because I "would be sorry."

I'm not discouraged. Oh no. Yes I ate a slice of a small cheese pizza before dinner last night when I probably shouldn't have. Yes I ate a half cup of ice cream after dinner. Yes I ate LOTS of pizza and ranch dressing and had two beers Tuesday night. BUT. Normally I would have eaten a lot more than that and then some.

The one thing I am discouraged about is that I have a doctor appointment today for a reoccurring health issue that never seems to go away (hence the term 'reoccurring'), and I know my weight will be brought up. And while I will tell my doctor I'm trying to lose weight right now, that won't be good enough for her. She might even throw some classes about managing my weight at me. Kaiser doctors like to do that. Cause a class solves everything. That and reading literature.

So yeah, by the time I get to the doctor, I'll have had lunch and several coffees and glasses of water, and my weight will be way over 200 lbs, and it'll make me sad, and I'll have to hear how I'm too fat and shouldn't be so fat when that's not really why I'm there because I think I know I am fat, I'm not blind, even though no matter how hard I try, I can't make our mirrors make me look skinnier. Although the fun house mirror in the hallway of our condo complex sometimes makes me looks squat, so when I do look at myself in a regular mirror, I don't feel so bad about myself.

Baaaaad week.

2008-04-01T16:51:00.000-07:00

Bad week (and it's only Tuesday...) so I decided my bad day is today and not Friday, which makes Friday less fun, but oh well. I guess that makes me an emotional eater? My diet coach says I can't switch my bad day, but I must. The pizza and beer are calling my name, and oh boy, how sweet does it sound.

Half a donut and a drink.

2008-03-30T19:57:00.000-07:00

Some how I ended up with a bit more than 500 calories left after eating dinner. I was asleep most of the day, so I guess that's how that happened. So, as a super treat, I cashed my 500 calories in for a starbucks frapuccino light and half a chocolate old fashioned donut.

Mmm...diets are fun.

Weight update for March 27, 2008

2008-03-27T05:15:00.000-07:00

I'm 198.

While this sounds like I made no progress during my coma, I really did! At one point I got brave and weighed myself. My jaw dropped to the floor, and my stomach sank, and I was very very sad. (Not sad enough to do anything about it, though -- it was a few weeks back): I went past 200 lbs. I think I was 204. I remember telling my mom because you know if you tell someone something you're not happy about, it lessens the whatever emotion you're feeling.

So the fact that I got myself BACK to the weight I was after Mateo left my body is pretty good. And considering I just got back on the diet wagon Monday, I'm even more okay with it.

Now the real work begins.....

Bye Bye Weight Watchers

2008-03-26T09:28:00.000-07:00

I'm dumping my Weight Watchers online subscription today.

I just found an online site that analyzes recipes and provides the calories, fat, protein, etc.:

Fit Watch - Recipe Analyzer

It's not perfect, but it works in a pinch for those recipes I find online that don't include the nutritional breakdown.

Day three -- going strong!

Because we all like to be voyeurs.

2008-03-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, I'm really that serious and I'm really laying it all out for you to see. Here is my Daily Plate profile. You can see what I'm eating and what exercise I've done (if any).

Side note: Fridays are my cheat days. While I might be tracking, I'm certainly not eating well. And while I'm at it, I should also state that I refuse to cook on Fridays. Chef Fatty McGoo takes Fridays off.

Drink water.

2008-03-24T13:54:00.000-07:00

I hate that. I'm starving. I complain. I am told, "drink water." I say that's a bunch of phooey. Water does not fill me up, it just makes me pee.